A sensation of happiness arise from countless sources like a fresh baked cookie from a parent, a great nap on a rainy day or the ideal word from the most important person in one’s life. While not bad in and of themselves, only seeking happiness from others leads to numerous complications. Romantic relationships relying solely on one another for any form of validation bring even greater issues. Understanding the reasons why this viewpoint is bad for the other person, the individual and the relationship as a whole must be understood before spotting red flag this reliance has crept into the relationship already.
Reasons It Is Bad for Them
People, even the best and most given ones, do not save other people. Placing someone in a position where they must sustain an emotional well with the potential of never being completely filled asks too much of them. This multifaceted person transforms into a conduit of the desired thing: Happiness. Consider how two dimensional it makes them. When the transition happens, then little concern arises for their needs. They stop being someone and becomes something.
Reasons It Is Bad for You
No one has ever grown, found satisfying love or even a good friend by focusing on getting something from another person. Even in scenarios where a quid pro quo exists, the transactional nature poisons one’s ability to focus on sacrificially caring for the other person because you are not invested in them and their happiness. Outside of the relationship and the other person, it becomes harder to grow and experience things on your own due to having this great person who is there just to make you happy.
Reasons It Is Bad for the Relationship
Think about a spider’s web. No matter how large the spider or intricate their web, no one has ever witnessed them catching a bird. Relationships are similarly fragile and sticky. If one person becomes selfish and claims the lion’s share of anything, the balance gets thrown off and everything falls down. Also, it is easy for this to become a pattern without anyone realizing. When this happens, it becomes much harder to break the cycle and move forward. Both people must seek the other’s happiness and revel in the joy they receive from being with the other person.
Red Flags of Happiness Dominance
Some signs might peek around the corners letting one know this already exists. Let’s look at these concerns.
* Swinging Up and Down: Responding overly up or down when receiving happiness from one’s partner may demonstrate and overly charged link. Variations should exist in one’s emotions, but it becomes troubling when tied to a specific person and their behaviors or responses.
* Running Off Fear: Fear within in a relationships is like fast food for the body. It can be a good short term solution, but things operate poorly in such an environment. If one only feels the acidic tang on fear when not receiving happiness from their partner, the cycle may have started.
* Rudderlessness: A withdrawal of overall happiness when not supplied by one’s partner might create a sensation of being lost. The best way to identify this is when everything else seems to running well and yet not knowing where to go, what to do or how one feels overwhelms everything else.
Some of the greatest joy one can feel is in caring for another person and receiving the care in return. Watch for a growing sense of selfishness and be quick to talk to each other. This can be difficult for either individual because the temptation to say this is how love is supposed to be displayed. Healthy boundaries mean not siphoning off another person or letting them use you for their benefit. Be partners and love one another well.