In the first few days, even weeks, after your breakup, the only thing you can think about is how to get your lover back. It’s understandable. Depending on how long the two of you were together, you’ve shared a lot of life. It’s hard to just walk away and pretend it never happened.
The odds are good that your lover isn’t walking off unaffected either. The only real difference is that your lover has been thinking about this for a while. People don’t walk away from long-term-relationships on a whim. In other words, your ex has had a little more time to deal with the emotional side of the decision than you have.
If you’re struggling to decide if the right choice is to walk away or fight to get your lover back, these questions should help you decide.
Is the Love Still There?
This is a huge question you need to know the answer to before you make a single step to try and win your lover back. While you can only guess about how your ex really feels, you can, and should, explore your own feelings in depth before making your next move. If the love isn’t really there, you should not waste your time and energy, or that of your ex, trying to rekindle something that’s simply not there anymore.
Is the Relationship You Had Truly Worth Rehashing?
Most relationships have their shares of ups and downs. Successful relationships have far more ups in them than downs. Take a look back over the course of your entire relationship. How do the ups compare to the downs for you? Were the good times really good? How bad were the darkest days? Are you willing to experience them again if necessary?
How far are You Really Willing to Go to Make It Work?
You must be willing to do whatever it takes to make it work in most cases for that to happen. Your ex is likely to throw in a few pitfalls and tests along the way, if he or she is even willing to give it a go. Be prepared for them and ready to ace them with flying colors. Don’t even think about letting her see you sweat. But the willingness goes even deeper than passing a few tests. You must be willing to make a few vital changes for the sake of your relationship. But you won’t often find out what they are until the moment arrives. Just be prepared. Some of the changes may not be all that simple to make.
Most importantly, however, is your willingness to be the one to wait. This is often the most difficult, and most necessary, part of winning your lover back. Waiting for the right moment, though, makes all the difference in the world. I can help you understand when that moment is and help you come up with the ideal strategy to turn it into a prime opportunity.
Remember your first date? First dates are so laden with emotion. You may have planned the perfect first date and then not had much fun on it because you were a bundle of nerves.
Jeremy and Susan had met through the personals and decided to go to a movie on their first date – after all, that’s about as public a place as you can get, right? It seemed like a safe bet for a date with a stranger.
Well, it was a Tuesday night and the movie had been out for over a month. The theater was entirely empty. Susan had trouble enjoying the movie because she was freaked out about being alone in a dark theater with someone she had never met.
But, Jeremy suggested coffee and desert afterwards and she agreed (as long as there were people around).
They found they enjoyed each other’s company and a second date lead to a third.
They had been to many movies since that first date, but never once had the theater been empty again.
|Recreate Your First Date To Keep Your Love Fresh|
So, for the couple’s eighth wedding anniversary, Susan arranged to rent an entire theater movie screen for a mid week showing and have a movie date all to themselves. Because it was a smaller screen and it was mid week, it wasn’t as expensive as you’d might imagine.
This time, it was a lot of fun to be alone in the dark together.
One fun thing to do is to recreate your first date. It has all of the excitement of the first time around but without the nerves.
Sharing your history with each other can give you a perspective that allows you to weather temporary glitches better because of the sense of shared past. Nothing is more romantic than the sense that you’ve come through troubled times together. Going on your first date again is the metaphorical equivalent of being cozied up in front of a roaring fire together with a cold wind blowing outside.
If you can’t recreate the date for some reason (the restaurant went out of business, you live in a different city, etc.) Consider reminiscing in a note or conversation to help remind each other of some of the landmarks in your relationship. These can include your first date, your first kiss, or the first time you knew it was serious. These are the things that make you feel closer to one another
Ps. Proven relationship help here =>>>
Henry wasn’t much of a communicator. He expressed his love by doing things. It would take him two months to work up to ‘I love you‘ but he would clean a woman’s gutters after a second date.
But when he fell in love with Sarah, he felt like he needed to really express himself.
On several occasions, he tried to put things into words, but his verbalization’s weren’t working.
So, despite the fact that he wasn’t all that comfortable writing, he took a stab at a love note. He gave himself plenty of time and worked on it for over a week. When he finally had the words just right, he copied them onto nice paper, rolled up the note and stuck it in a bottle.
When Sarah received the note she felt that it was the greatest gift anyone had ever given her. Because it was out of character, because it was hard for him, she valued it always.
You don’t have to be J.K. Rawlings to write a love note. But if you do, it will be more valuable to your partner than Harry Potter was to Ms. Rawlings.
In these days of email and instant messaging, writing a love note by hand is one of the most romantic things you can do. Write a short note about ‘what I like about you.’ Write a poem (it doesn’t have to rhyme). Or, pour your heart out over several pages. These notes will be saved and cherished for a long time.
|We Are Getting Back Together Again|
If you have any artistic sense, adding a drawing or sketch is a nice touch.
But, the point here isn’t so much about writing skill or artistry as sincerity. Write a sweet sentiment from your heart. Write something gentle and touching. And, try not to make it sexually graphic. This is about romance not sex.
It’s a good idea to buy a nice sheet of paper to write the note on. It makes it clear that you are making an effort. Don’t type your note. If your handwriting is lousy, it’s okay to print. Write in ink – pencil fades and he or she will want to keep this love note for a long time.
You may want to consider writing the letter out first and then transferring it to your nice paper. Try not to misspell too much and make sure your note is legible. You’re not looking to score points with an English teacher, but you also don’t want the mechanics to get in the way of the message.
Finally, make sure that your love note doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. Consider leaving it on his or her pillow or someplace else where no one else will look. Remember also that X-rated notes may come back to haunt you – make it a love not a smut note.
Don’t send a romantic note to their work place because a colleague is apt to discover it.
Ps. Here is the solution in writing to express love if you need to make up with your ex and need some help to put the right words together =>The Magic Second Chance Letter<=