Tag Archives: Ex

An Ex Longing to Return

An ex might express a desire to rekindle a relationship or they might be acting friendly. How can one know which it is? Acting one way or the other might give the wrong impression. Being cognizant of and reading all the signs an ex puts forth helps determine their intent. From a place of knowledge, one can decide if their desires coincide with their ex.

Sign 1: A Magnetic Draw

Attraction to an ex occurs quite often. People recall how their relationship started and long for the same feelings they felt before. Some might long for the familiar. Or perhaps they have yet to find anyone who stirs them in the same way. One needs to see if the attraction is mutual. Caring for an ex more than they care likely leads to more heart break. Conversely, sensing a lack of feelings for one’s ex creates a recipe for not moving to the next thing.

Sign 2: Easy Conversation

Speaking to an ex who is looking to return often feels easy. Old jokes come up. They ask about how things are. Even surface topics feel richer when talking about them with an ex. As with attraction, the free flow of information and banter needs to be equal on both sides. An ex interested in returning will seek to know about you and share about what is going on with them.

Sign 3: Relational Checking

A common question for an ex seeking to return will be about the status of one’s relationships. Are you seeing someone? Is it serious? Are you happy? While the questions sound innocent on the surface, an ex might be wanting to know if an opening to return exists. Being honest about things is vital. Downplaying a current relationship holds out hope to the ex and makes them bolder. Building up the relational status might scare an ex away.

an ex
an ex

Sign 4: Seeming Different

Change can be the greatest indicator of an ex looking to return. A distrustful former lover may make greater efforts to tone down their behavior to give a better impression. Watch for wild and unsustainable swings. While it is nice to believe a person may move heaven and earth to change, often the same person with all their longings and attitudes wait right outside the door. Hope but verify things are different.

What You Feel

Ultimately, one needs to decide what they want. A warm feeling of being pursued, especially if things ended poorly, has the potential to blind someone to the trouble right around the corner. Search your own heart. Do you still care for this person and love them enough to get back with them? If not, you need to be honest with them.

Reconciling with an ex is a tempting romantic trope. There are books, movies and songs about an ex begging to be taken back. Second chances are important. Great love can grow out of rekindled romance. You need to decide if that is what you want. If not, tell them the truth, so both of you can move toward the future even if it may be without each other.

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…
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Not Wanting Your Ex Back

Everyone possesses a fantasy where an ex comes crawling back bereft of pride longing to be accepted back. The reason this is such a prevalent dream stems from it not happening too often. If every ex wanted to reconnect, a single cycle of couples would exist. Because real life is always more complicated, one needs a plan to gracefully address how to handle the unwanted advances of an ex back.

The Initial Salvo

This generally comes out of the blue. If one remains in contact with an ex, they are fully award of what is going on and there should not be a request for reestablishing the relationship. Taking important steps at the outset are key when receiving the call, email or visit where an ex pleads to come back.

* Take Time: Just because they have formulated their thoughts and feelings does not mean one must respond in the now. Despite being tempted to shut things down immediately, asking for some time to think about what has been said will give the correct impression and allow them to feel as though their request has been seriously pondered.

* Consider the Request: While easy to think you know how you feel, you should deeply debate what is being asked. This is done to accurate assess what you feel and why. You can address their concerns in advance in later steps. Also, it might prevent you from looking foolish should you decide after a short time you want them back. It does not hurt to think things through.

The Response

Your answer will be the most fraught with tension. They have been waiting for it. You are placing yourself at risk and possibly acting as someone who could be characterized negatively. Use these as guideposts in giving your reply to the request.

Rear View of Couple Sitting on Beach
ex back

* Be firm and honest about how you feel. Being too soft will only leave the door open for another uncomfortable conversation.
* Explain things from your side. They have come to you and do not know what you think or feel, so they need to understand.
* Keep it short and kind. Acting like you could not think less of them is unnecessary. Regardless of how you feel, they were vulnerable with you, so respect them.

Resist the Push  Ex Back

After the response, your ex is likely to come back again or argue particular points. This will happen because they have already put themselves out there once and feel less concerned about doing it again. Think about all the times you have tried something challenging. After discovering you did not die and it was far easier than expected, there is less internal resistance to do it a second time.

For this reason, you will need to fight against a plan to be manipulated. Your ex might not be intending to do it, but hearing no triggers a combative response in people. They will access deep reserves. Also, they may use arguments deemed too rude or base during their opening request. You will need to rely on yourself, what you know and the inner strength you have developed.

Telling someone no in any context is hard. This is why we couch so many things with language designed to soften the blow. In this setting, your firmness is the kindest thing you can offer to your ex while being careful not to dip into cruelty. If you care about them, you will release them and yourself to a future free of second guessing. If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…Click Here…

Loneliness versus Missing an Ex

It can be tricky to know from where feelings arise. This becomes even truer after a relationship has ended because drastic alterations may occur. Being clear on what one feels and the reason for those feelings prove necessary before pursuing love again, even with an ex. For this reason, one needs to determine some key symptoms of loneliness, missing one’s ex and differentiating between the two.

Symptoms of Loneliness:

The similarity between garden variety loneliness and severe conditions like depression exist because of their similar presentations. If asked, those who deal with depression on a regular basis might note loneliness as a component. Let’s see how loneliness might exhibit itself.

* Isolation: Those fighting with loneliness want to be alone either because they do not believe they possess the strength to interact with others or they are not worthy of being in contact with others. They might say things like they would not know why it would matter. They might be quick to blame others for feeling utterly alone.

* Controlling Activities: Loneliness sufferers seek activities they can control. Such activities like watching old shows that brought them comfort during childhood or reading a book that brought them pleasure in the past happen entirely alone. Those who interact often do so online with a bit of physical and emotional distance. One example might be playing an online co opt game where they do not have to be in the same room with someone.

* Physical Maladies: Always being tired, not sleeping well and having cold like symptoms can occur when someone feels lonely. One should know that truly physical issues are often resolved by typical behaviors. A good night’s sleep corrects feeling tired. Over the counter medication knocks out the creep of a cold. If these things persist, there might be an emotional component.

It is important to remember, even if something starts off as routine loneliness, one should not ignore an escalation of these things. When one or more of symptom persists without improvement or worsens, one should seek professional medical attention to determine if the condition has escalated to depression requiring direct medical intervention. Be smart and get help.

Symptoms of Missing an Ex

As with loneliness, the keen sense of loss is likely to create an ache. Witnessing the way these feeling manifest and empowered by certain actions helps to define them. Sometimes there are only subtle nuances.

Couple Standing in the Seashore Hugging Each Other during Sunset
ex

* Longing for Interaction: This might occur at random times. Often familiar behaviors like talking with them or sending them a text will come to mind. In some cases, one could go so far as to get the phone out before realizing it.

* Replaying Old Memories: The mind is funny because it will not hesitate to go back to pleasant things. When over an ex, this stops after a few weeks and things like pictures or recordings fail to super charge the memories. If missing them deeply, one might keep rewinding time to relive those moments.

* Emotional Bumps: When hearing news or running into an ex unexpectedly, one might get an emotional jolt. Sometimes these can be negative feelings depending on the way things were left. But after an amicable break up, ongoing love and warmth is not an unusual response.

Differentiating Between the Two

The simplest way to determine if simple loneliness or missing an ex causes one’s current state is by viewing the focus of the thoughts. Lonely people end up concentrating on themselves. They will seek to protect themselves from feeling certain things or future pain. The person longing to rekindle romance will be thinking about the other person. Granted, there can be a sense of nostalgia when considering returning to an ex. One will need to decide if they want the past or the future because one is possible and the other can never be again.

In the end, loneliness and missing someone are merely states of being. Another person will never alleviate all the things a person feels and questions about themselves. Their best hope is to see if they think they would be better entering a new relationship with the same person or letting the relationship go. Growth only happens in a forward direction, so that’s where you need to be looking.  If you Want Love Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…Click Here…

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