In the first few days, even weeks, after your breakup, the only thing you can think about is how to get your lover back. It’s understandable. Depending on how long the two of you were together, you’ve shared a lot of life. It’s hard to just walk away and pretend it never happened.
The odds are good that your lover isn’t walking off unaffected either. The only real difference is that your lover has been thinking about this for a while. People don’t walk away from long-term-relationships on a whim. In other words, your ex has had a little more time to deal with the emotional side of the decision than you have.
If you’re struggling to decide if the right choice is to walk away or fight to get your lover back, these questions should help you decide.
Is the Love Still There?
This is a huge question you need to know the answer to before you make a single step to try and win your lover back. While you can only guess about how your ex really feels, you can, and should, explore your own feelings in depth before making your next move. If the love isn’t really there, you should not waste your time and energy, or that of your ex, trying to rekindle something that’s simply not there anymore.
Is the Relationship You Had Truly Worth Rehashing?
Most relationships have their shares of ups and downs. Successful relationships have far more ups in them than downs. Take a look back over the course of your entire relationship. How do the ups compare to the downs for you? Were the good times really good? How bad were the darkest days? Are you willing to experience them again if necessary?
How far are You Really Willing to Go to Make It Work?
You must be willing to do whatever it takes to make it work in most cases for that to happen. Your ex is likely to throw in a few pitfalls and tests along the way, if he or she is even willing to give it a go. Be prepared for them and ready to ace them with flying colors. Don’t even think about letting her see you sweat. But the willingness goes even deeper than passing a few tests. You must be willing to make a few vital changes for the sake of your relationship. But you won’t often find out what they are until the moment arrives. Just be prepared. Some of the changes may not be all that simple to make.
Most importantly, however, is your willingness to be the one to wait. This is often the most difficult, and most necessary, part of winning your lover back. Waiting for the right moment, though, makes all the difference in the world. I can help you understand when that moment is and help you come up with the ideal strategy to turn it into a prime opportunity.
When you’re getting back together with your ex there’s a fine line that you must walk between doing things the old way and making a fresh start together. Sometimes it’s best to part with the old completely and go for something completely new and different. Something you’ve never done together before. If you’ve already tried some of these things, skip those in favor of making new memories together and avoiding possible stigmas or negative emotions tied to things you’ve tried in the past.
1) Roller-skating or ice-skating. Both activities are physical activities that can be a lot of fun, at any age, provided you both come into it with open minds and expecting to have a good time together. More importantly, it gives you the opportunity to hold hands, to talk, and to rediscover that “sense of fun” that flows out of relationships when times are tough.
2) Rodeo. Depending on where you are in the world, rodeos offer a chance to cheer for the underdog, to laugh at the antics of the clowns, and the rush of adrenaline that almost always accompanies danger or risk. All from the relative safety of bleacher seats. Besides, what girl doesn’t love ponies?
3) Hot air balloon ride. Few options available to you are more romantic than a hot air balloon ride. It’s a great way to literally get above it all and see how small your problems really are from a bird’s-eye view.
4) Sailing, canoeing, or white water rafting. Unless you live in a desert climate, the odds are good that there is some venue for one of these activities nearby. Water can be romantic and fun. The time you spend together doing this is time you’re not likely to forget. It’s a great opportunity to spend time together, talk, or simple enjoy the ride — and the company.
5) Minor league sporting event. Skip the high price tag and huge crowds of the average major league sporting venue. Attending a minor league sporting event allows you both to cheer for the home team without breaking the bank. More importantly, the smaller crowds give you time to talk to each other a little before, during, and after the game. You get the benefit of watching favorite sports, such as hockey, baseball, football, and even soccer, without the downside of big league games.
Great dates don’t just happen. They’re made. It takes more than a great location though to make your first date – the second time around – truly stand out from the crowd. These venues are a great start, but it’s up to you to really make this date sparkle and shine. Be on your best behavior. Treat your date well. Avoid danger zones or hot topics. And remember to have fun and remind your ex why he or she fell in love with you in the first place.
While movies are not always the perfect date night choice, sometimes, when life is hectic, the DVD player and take-out from your favorite restaurant hits the spot quite nicely. Of course, you have to have the right date night movies to set the proper tone. Rather than going out and getting the latest Redbox blockbuster, consider these old standards instead.
What movie offers more for a date night movie fest. Seduction. Intrigue. Scandal. It’s all in there and more. The acting is superb. The film is engrossing. The time period is far removed from the every day. It’s a great escape film the two of you can enjoy together – time and time again if necessary.
You’ll have a hard time finding a better date night movie than one that will have her literally jumping into your lap. This film has all that and more. Adrenaline is a standard while watching the film that is well acted and features characters that are engrossing to say the least. After the film is over you can have a lot of fun staying up all night together because, really, who can sleep after watching that?
Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. Need anyone say more? This movie is filled with twists, turns, and misdirection. Once you know how the story ends, it’s worth going back and watching again to look for hints and clues. Great date night fun for a film that’s hard to grow tired of.
This one is a “bring the box of Kleenex” film. While the story itself isn’t sad, it is, at the very least poignant. This makes it a sure hit with ladies for date night and the combination of Sandra Bullock and football make it a great choice for the guys as well. The fact that it’s based on a true story makes it all the more touching and a great night to have her feeling emotional and romantic.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Another great Angelina Jolie flick, this one also stars Brad Pitt. The movie itself is action packed and full of not-so-passive aggression. If only all couples could work out their marital difficulties so easily. It certainly will help you both appreciate the normalcy of your lives together.
Date night will never be a complete and total dud if you load up your DVD with any one of these great date night movie. Just remember that the purpose of date night is to spend time together so choose movies you’re both likely to have at least some interest in watching.
Ps. Some words from the man that has helped over 50 000 people from 77 countries to get love back into their lifes:
“…and what I discovered was that MANY wanted more than anything else
was a way to MAKE UP before the relationship completely broke up
forever. Secondarily, they wanted a way to deal with the emotions they
were having going through this very tough time”.
Thats why he created
Relationships often go in cycles. Sometimes things are up and it all seems like smooth sailing. At other times, you drift apart and the waters are choppy and sharks seem to be circling. Sometimes you break up. Other times your relationship simply limps along. That loving feeling you used to have together feels like it’s gone for good. But, what if you could get it back? What steps do you need to take to make him fall back in love with YOU?
Sometimes you forget to treat yourself like a lady. You forget that you need a little pampering. You need to feed your soul. More importantly, you need to take care of yourself — physically. You need to eat right, exercise, take care of your skin, get a new hair cut, etc. You need to feel good about the reflection you see in the mirror. You need to do all the things a lady does to feel like someone who deserves to have doors opened for her as well as other acts of chivalry. Once you start treating yourself like a lady, chances are he’s going to notice and start treating you like a lady too.
Remember that this is about making you happy. Make changes that matter to you — that will help you feel better about yourself and more confident. Some of the changes you might consider include:
• Diet/Weight loss
• Wardrobe update
• Spa treatment
• New hair style
• Teeth whitening
The changes do not have to be drastic in order to have a drastic impact on your self-confidence and outlook on the world around you. Nor, do they need to be major overhauls to get him to take notice. The main take away from this, however, is not that he won’t love you if you’re imperfect. It is that it is easier for him to fall back in love with you if you aren’t busy tearing yourself down for perceived flaws instead.
While it’s always good to strive for improvement, it’s also important that you love yourself for the woman you are. He will find it much easier to love you all over again if you love yourself as well. I’m not suggesting that you become a woman who is self absorbed or self obsessed. Only that you accept yourself for who you are and find peace with that. Embrace your strengths. Work to change your weaknesses, but don’t punish yourself for being human. All of us are. Once you learn to love yourself, you’ll be a much happier, person he’s likely to find irresistible.
You don’t have to move mountains or make miracles to win back his love. Love may ebb and flow over time but it takes a while to go away completely. The odds are in your favor that if he’s loved you before, you can easily win back his love once you learn to love yourself too.
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Have you ever noticed that even in marriages where the couples seem to have it all — looks, money, the perfect story — things sometimes fall apart? It leaves a lot of mere mortals without the fairy tale budgets and picture perfect smile stand a chance. The truth is, that the regular people of the world stand as much of a chance as those with big budgets to buy their girls a little bit of everything.
Because when it comes down to it, most girls aren’t proverbial material girls no matter how great of a show they put on. They may claim that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. They certainly won’t turn them down when offered. But, what a girl really wants is to feel like the queen of your world and not just an afterthought. These simple steps might not sound like much, but they’ll make a world of different to the girl who is currently queen of your heart.
Many men follow the wrong advice when they listen to people telling them not to sweat the small stuff. Life is the small stuff. It’s the small stuff that passes by, ignored and overlooked, while you’re busy looking for the big statement items. Don’t let her get away because you were so busy looking for something monumental to show your love that you overlooked a thousand small ways you could have told her or showed her how you feel.
Life gets busy sometimes. It’s easy to overlook the details of what’s going on at home when you have a thousand different demands firing your way at the office or you’re worried about how you’re going to make ends meet next month. Whatever your worries may be, you should have no worry greater in your life than greeting your girl hello and leaving her with something to remember you by throughout the day.
The perfect solution?
It costs little and speaks volumes.
There’s nothing the average busy wife and mother wants more than a night off each week. Come home and take over. Plan the meals. Feed the kids. Bathe the kids. Tuck them in. Draw her a bath and take over kitchen cleanup duties while she relaxes in the tub. It will feel like a little piece of paradise to her and show her just how devoted to her you really are.
They may seem silly to you, but these are the things she’ll read a thousand times over the years. She’ll wrap them in ribbons and take them out to look over whenever the road gets a little rough between you. If you continue sending them, she’ll often revisit them to see how things have changed, and how much they’ve stayed the same between the two of you.
You don’t have to spend ridiculous sums of money to show her that she really is the queen of your hearts. More importantly, these small gestures make her feel like she’s the queen of your world too.
Getting your girlfriend back may seem like the most difficult task on the planet. It doesn’t have to be though. Many guys make it much more difficult than is necessary. You see, you’ve been led to believe, mostly in Hollywood movies and by the makers of fine jewelry, chocolate, and greeting cards, that this is the way it’s supposed to be. That isn’t the case at all.
In fact, once the girl leaves, the average relationship may seem irrevocably broken, but there are still easy tips you can follow that really will help you get her back. Here are a few things you should remember if you really want to win her back.
Stop Living in the Past
Turn of the century American Author, Alice Morse Earle, once wrote: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.” Living in relationship past robs you both of all the joy of each day together when you’re in the relationship. Now that she has left, however, it can rob you of a clear perspective on what needs to be done now in order to save the relationship and make it work this time around.
Become the Man You WANT to Be
This is hard for many men. It’s something you may not have given a lot of thought to. Bruce Willis starred in a great movie called The Kid, where the grown up man is confronted by his eight year old self. The eight year old was horrified at the man he’d become saying, “So, I’m forty, I’m not married, I don’t fly jets, and I don’t have a dog? I grow up to be a loser.”
Sometimes there is wisdom in those childhood echoes. You may have given up on the idea of flying jets (who really ever gives that one up though?), but that doesn’t mean you can’t take steps to be the man you want to be — even if that does involve learning to fly a jet. The first step is deciding who you want to be. Then you must tackle the process of becoming that man.
How does that Help You Get the Girl?
Life doesn’t always follow a movie script. You might have to wait a little while to really get her attention. But, once you start making real, notable changes in the man you are and stop trying to recapture a past that wasn’t as picture perfect as you remember, you’ll be able to gain a new outlook on the future. One thing is certain. Once you become the man you WANT to be, the here and now, the PRESENT, is something she’ll WANT to be part of.
Max and Mindy had been going out for six months. They had fallen into a rut. Friday nights meant pizza and a video after work. Saturdays usually involved a bar. And Sunday mornings, Max would go out for bagels and they’d have a continental breakfast in bed.
Things were getting too routine and Mindy was beginning to get restless. Max was determined to shake things up because he sensed he would lose Mindy if he didn’t.
This article is all about how to shake things up. It’s about keeping your love fresh and alive.
Being romantic when you just start dating is easy. But, how can you keep the fun, energy, interest and romance alive on an ongoing basis?
A relationship is like a budding plant complete with aluminum foil and a big bow. You can’t put the plant in a window and ignore it. If you do, it will die. It needs pruning, watering, and nurturing to thrive. Your relationship needs the same care, consideration and knowledge. This article will give you some tips on how to do that.
|How To Get Lover Back|
Send Flowers for No Reason
The receptionist at Laurie’s office buzzed her excitedly. “Laurie, you’ve got the biggest bouquet out here. Come and get it.”
Laurie was excited but confused. It wasn’t her birthday. She and Gregg hadn’t had a big fight. What were the flowers for?
She went to pick them up and as she walked down the hall with them, people (mostly the women) admired them.
All day, people popped in the cubicle and complimented her on her beautiful arrangement. And, they asked about how her relationship was going.
Over and over, she told people about her wonderful boyfriend Gregg. And, on each telling of the story, she felt a little bit better about her relationship.
Gregg got a lot of mileage out of a bouquet out of the blue.
You know to send her flowers on Valentine’s Day and her birthday. But have you considered sending flowers to her at work for no reason at all?
The romance of Valentine ‘s Day isn’t about the food or flowers. It’s the feeling of being loved enough to be fussed over and cherished. It’s the sharing of a loving experience. When you pick out a gift, you are sharing something with someone.
But you don’t have to wait for February 14 to roll around to share these feelings. You can make any day Valentines Day – and because it is not a “prescribed” holiday, you’ll get more brownie points for doing it.
Flowers remind us of Mother Nature at her most lovely. Women are happy receiving most any kind of flower. Men tend to be more choosy about the flowers they appreciate receiving. Women, consider sending your man an amaryllis, chrysanthemums, are even a plant. If you are sending them to his office, forget the teddy bears, kissy faces or cherubs. Don’t put him in the position of getting teased unmercifully at his place of work.
But men can send just about anything to a woman at work. Women get completely ga-ga about almost anything and if guys knew the real impact of flowers, they would keep a florist on retainer.
Don’t send the same flowers all the time either. While roses are romantic, you don’t want to get into a rut.
Also, don’t reserve flowers for birthdays, fights, or special events. Flowers for everyday are a powerful way to mix up a relationship.
Ps. If You Need Your Ex Back Then You Will Need This >>>>
You know your girlfriend better than almost anyone else, so you may be able to predict how she will react. Some of the ways women react to being told the relationship is over is to cry, have hysterics, scream at you, throw things, and storm out. Unless you perceive that there is any chance of real violence, you just have to put up with whatever scene she causes. That’s the price of breaking up.
You can’t control her, but you can control your reaction to her. For instance, when she cries, you can start crying too. That will really throw her. It doesn’t have to be a sloppy cry, but a tear or two might stop her in her tracks.
If she starts yelling, you can take it with stoic silence. If she wants to know why you are doing this, you can soothe her and lie.
If she doesn’t say anything, don’t fill up the silence with explanations. Let her finish her dinner in silence and let her leave.
Be prepared for her arguments about why you should remain a couple. She may promise anything if you will agree to stay together. But, by the time you have decided to break up, you should already know that there is nothing she or you can do to change the situation and you are both better off single.
Whatever you do, you should have a disentanglement strategy. Perhaps you can schedule an appointment for one hour after the break up meeting time. If this is an appointment that you just can’t miss, you will have to walk out of there composed.
How to Tell Her
Now we get to the nitty-gritty. How should you tell your girlfriend that you are breaking up? Avoid psychobabble. She’ll see right through it. Saying “it’s not you, it’s me” is meaningless because she is going to know that it really is her. You are not calling all women off. You’re calling her off.
Be clear that you are breaking up with her and there is no room for discussion. This is a decision you have made and it requires no input or discussion on her part.
Be concise. You don’t have to drag it out if you don’t want to. She can cry on her girlfriends’ shoulders. You are no longer her punching bag.
You may feel that you have to offer explanations, but you really don’t. You are not doing her any favors by telling her that she is a nag or that you are tired of her manipulating you. It won’t help her be a better girlfriend for another guy. She’ll just use your words against you. And, you won’t get anything out of it.
Perhaps the best line is “I don’t think we’re a good fit anymore.” Leave it at that and walk away if you’re smart.
Ps. Whatever you say or do in the middle of a breakup it all come down to one thing. Everything we give out
we receive back; the good and the bad so before you are in the middle of a storm learn how to handle it or to avoid it by watching this!