Boredom turns out to be one of the sneakiest dangers facing every relationship. Often it creeps in on cat like paws rather than the big crashing destruction brought about by infidelity.
Underestimating boredom’s corrosive quality courts the end of the relationship as truly as the sun rises and sets. Recognizing the major signs boredom has entered the domain of your relationship will allow safeguards to be put into place forestalling any permanent damage.
Sign 1: No Alone Time
Nothing alleviates boredom like more people. They distract, add conversation and force problems out of the way. In general, couples avoid heavier topics like their relationship problems when other people are present. This often stagnates the relationship and attacks any healthy parts still standing.
Sign 2: Nostalgia Trap
Spending the bulk of a couple’s time and attention looking back at what happened before locks the relationship in amber. They begin to seek the aspects of the way things were. Longing for the good old days puts planning for the future on hold. The past is a nice picture to look at occasionally, but a terrible springboard for future planning.
Sign 3: Same Old Same Old
Routines offer stability. No relationship is designed to survive without a level of stability. However, locking into a unwavering pattern sucks the adventure from a relationship. Not every ounce of excitement needs to come from cliff diving or amusement parks. Deep conversations and emotional vulnerability can offer groundbreaking revelations.
Sign 4: No Big Deal
Early in a relationship little things appear to carry so much weight. One nice aspect of longer relationships is when those tiny bumps sting far less. Couples should note when they feel nothing at all when plans get superseded or mild slights occur. This is cause for concern. If you are not getting upset about the small things, how deeply do either of you really care?
Sign 5: Ticking Clock
Boredom rears its head most when the specter of an onrushing end comes into view. Neither partner may wish to discuss how bad things have gotten, their level of disinterest nor their enjoyment when doing things alone. They will hang on to things far longer despite feeling bored because it is easier in the long run to not face the end.
Solving Boredom’s Trap
Everyone of the signs have a major aspect in common. They all hinge on not talking about the thing right in front of the couple. Sometimes the conversations center around simple things like date nights or changing things up. Other will require couples to discuss deeper issues such as their true compatibility. Boredom loses its grip the more couples meet it and the underlying issues head on.
Boredom mainly manifests as an annoyance. The problem is it will metastasize if left untreated. Couples need to be brave because only by doing what every fiber of their being is telling them to avoid can they hope to rescue what they have.
Speaking into the pain, telling the truth about what they feel and embracing what the future holds, couples can banish each wave of boredom as it arrives. Successful couples will do it repeatedly as boredom returns.