Category Archives: Relationships

How to Say “No” to Your Jealous Partner

 

By Susie and Otto Collins

Andy is sick and tired of coming home after a hard day at the office to his wife, Caroline’s, incessant questions. Almost as soon as he enters their house, her probing inquiries begin.

“Who did you meet with today?”
“I don’t know her. Is she someone you see often?”
“Where did you go for lunch this afternoon?”
“Did you eat alone?”
“When did you have lunch?”
“Why didn’t you e-mail or text me to check in?

After Andy attempts to answer Caroline’s questions, he feels annoyed and defensive. Andy knows that Caroline had a painful past before they began dating. She has a lot from her childhood to deal with as well as a couple of bad relationships before they met.

At the same time, Andy is worn out and, frankly, done being patient with Caroline’s daily interrogations that are fueled by her jealousy. He doesn’t know what to do other than give in and answer each question or to abruptly demand space and walk away.

If you are with a jealous partner, you might relate to Andy’s dilemma.

You may love and care very much about your partner and your relationship. You feel you have nothing to hide and have done nothing wrong, which is why his or her jealous behavior toward you is so frustrating!

Most of all, what you might want to do is to tell your mate that “No, I will not answer your jealous questions”…but you don’t because you’re worried about really setting him or her off.

We urge you not to give up on your love relationship or marriage if you truly want to be with your current partner. There are ways to communicate and set boundaries with your jealousy partner that can actually improve your relationship.

Do the advance work… 
There may be a pattern to when your partner is most obviously jealous. It could be when you two have been apart all day. Or, it might be when you are out together (or separately) socially.

Begin to pay attention to the situations and even the words that you use that seem to trigger a jealous reaction from your mate. Look for ways that you might be inadvertently triggering the jealous reaction.

Let’s be clear here– we are NOT saying that your partner’s jealousy is your fault. We do want you to be aware of slight changes to your own habits that could ease this situation, however.

Take the time to ask yourself what you could differently– without compromising what is important to you– that might be less likely to trigger your mate.

One thing might be to interrupt an interrogation or accusation in progress and request that you two talk about this issue later, when you are not feeling defensive and when your partner can calm down and re-evaluate what he or she thinks is happening.

Woman Relaxing with partner on Beach Against Sky
partner

Allow your partner to own his or her jealousy…
As much as you’d like to “fix” or “solve” your mate’s jealousy problem, you can’t.

If you apply labels to your partner or try to figure out his or her jealousy habit and then expect your mate to be grateful to you for this, you’re probably going to be disappointed.

What you CAN do is to be honest when you feel wrongly accused or that your privacy and space is being invaded. It’s up to you how much transparency you are willing to provide to your jealous partner.

(If you’ve had an affair or broken trust, even if your partner is jealous it may be wise for you to be transparent.)

When your mate does take ownership for being jealous, be supportive and ask how you can work with him or her to help improve your relationship.

Say “No” and set boundaries with love and an invitation to connect…
When you set a boundary with your jealous partner, do so with love and be clear that it is your intention to connect, even though you are essentially saying “No” to the jealous habit.

If you are tired of being asked to account for what you did and who you were with every second of every day, think about how you could say “No” to this request for information with kindness.

For example, you might say, “I am not going to answer your questions right now. I love you and I will share with you about my day after I have had a chance to relax and unwind.”

You could also say something like, “I feel annoyed and accused when you greet me at the door with questions like this. I would love to hear how your day was and also let you know how my day was as a way to connect with one another. Will you make a shift and talk with me in this different way?”

Saying “No” to a jealous partner does not have to mean more distance and disconnection between the two of you. In fact, when you communicate your boundaries with a sense of honesty, openness and love, you can help support your partner as he or she overcomes jealousy.

***********************************************

Susie and Otto Collins are married, life partners who are Relationship and Life Success Coaches, and authors of several books on relationships, including their ebook Magic Relationship Words.  Other popular books by Susie and Otto  are:Should You Stay or Should You Go?No More JealousyCreating Relationship Trust, Communication Magic and Attracting Your Perfect Partner.

In addition to having a great relationship, they regularly write, speak and conduct seminars on love, relationships and personal growth. To read more free articles like this or to sign up for their free online relationship tips newsletter visit http://www.collinspartners.com or http://www.RelationshipGold.com

Moving Forward by Going Through

Everyone faces challenges when it comes to the dissolution of relationships. Feelings run high. Sensations of loss and instability plague even the most assured individuals. It takes more than a strong will, a blind eye or even a new relationship to help someone get to the healthy place they seek. In order to find what they need, one must push through the pain toward wholeness.

Why It Should Happen?

Think about when an injury to the body is sustained. What does it take to return to full health and perform even everyday functions without pain? If someone suffers long enough, they may not ever move, sit or even breathe without feeling as though they are being challenged by the actions. A feeling of hopelessness may creep into their lives.

Relational pain falls into the same category. Just as recovering from a broken limb, one should deal with their emotional pain and move along the path to recovery. They can only enter into a healthy relationship after addressing the fallout of the previous one. The simplest thing to do is take a slow and healthy approach to deal with all the issues and make slow progress.
Using the Mind: Some steps require using reason to catalog and note patterns. One of the strongest skills people, even those not professionally trained, have exists in recognizing patterns. This simple skill can expedite the process permitting quicker recovery.

Make a List: Start with a simple breakdown of what happened listing all the aspects of the relationship. The more complete the analysis then it will point to all the things treasured and lost within the relationship.

Free stock photo of love, heart, flowers, daisies

Look for Patterns: By using the list and the recent relationship, one should see if they can find repeat occurrences within prior relationships. This can be difficult since most people want to forget their worst attributes. For example, someone taking into account how unchecked jealous has damaged trust may find it hard to face.

Assess the Causes: More than lists and patterns, you need to see how much of these fall into areas you had a hand in manifesting. This can be hard because the temptation is to take too much or too little responsibility. Often extremes fail to affect a true changes. Also, a negative in one relationship may become a positive in another.

Now, The Heart

The mind, though great at cataloging, never fully processes things outside of a coldly clinical approach. To truly release the past relationship, one must engage the heart because it performs vital tasks. Let’s look at some things the heart is well designed for.

* Grieving: Releasing pain after acknowledging the damage it has cause through the many aspects of loss happens in the heart.
* Finding: Being drawn to important things like connection and communication can be sensed through the heart.
* Treasuring: Holding onto key parts of relationship often occur in the stronghold of the heart.

The past can be a beautiful story carrying one forward in to richer relationships or an anchor dragging everyone to the bottom of a sad sad sea. Seeking health, using the mind and accessing the heart frees one from the negative bonds of the past. It takes bravery to enter this struggle and perseverance to reach the end. Be strong, be brave and stay with yourself. Only you can find the freedom you seek, so press on through and forward.

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

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Poster Movie Get Out 2017

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Director : Jordan Peele.
Writer : Jordan Peele.
Producer : Sean McKittrick, Jason Blum, Jordan Peele, Edward H. Hamm Jr. .
Release : February 24, 2017
Country : United States of America.
Production Company : Blumhouse Productions, QC Entertainment, Monkeypaw Productions.
Language : English.
Runtime : 104
Genre : Mystery, Thriller, Horror.

‘Get Out’ is a movie genre Mystery, was released in February 24, 2017. Jordan Peele was directed this movie and starring by Daniel Kaluuya. This movie tell story about Chris and his girlfriend Rose go upstate to visit her parents for the weekend. At first, Chris reads the family’s overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter’s interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he never could have imagined.

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Myths About Men and Their Feelings

A great deal has been espoused about men and their feelings. One of the interesting things centers around what people, both men and women, expect counter to the underlying truth surrounding the emotional lives of men. The topic often triggers many debates. Everyone must put their preconceived notions to the side and begin afresh with the discussion about men, their feelings and how to they can express them.

Myth 1: Men Don’t Have Feelings

Some classical male archetypes come across as silent, emotionless pieces of granite. This presentation in movies, books and countless other pieces of media helps perpetuate the idea of men being able to bear up under any burden without a sound. Giving the idea of a heartless man life means certain ideas can be perpetuated.

Truth: Everyone, regardless of their sex, has feelings. To assume men don’t feel things is to divorce them from their humanity. If someone removed an essential part of being human from any other demographic, they would be viewed as close minded and even cruel. Keep in mind everyone feels.

Myth 2: Men Have Fewer Words Around Their Feelings

Many people note how much women are able to discuss their feelings. They provide study results about the number of words for various feelings women can access. These same people equate the lack of matching words for men to mean either they do not possess the same depth of emotion or are unable to communicate their feelings.

feelings
feelings

Truth: Language is a learned skill. Think about how children learn to speak. First, they make sounds, then form words and then sentences. All of these capture the thoughts they are having allowing them express everything from logical points to dreams to feelings. The same is true for everyone. If any part of the development process is held back because of outside pressures, those individuals will not possess the same skills as others.

Myth 3: Men Don’t Like Talking About Their Emotions

Charged conversations including those dealing with emotional issues may devolve into a heated argument. In the throws of such a situation, both people may lean on emotionless logic to find purchase in the whirlwind of loud voices. Because of this retreat to a reasoned approach, it would be safe to say no one likes talking about their feelings, no matter if they are male or female.

Truth: In a safe environment, men open up about what they feel. It is important to be remember the risk of sharing feelings including a risk of judgement. Everyone needs to know they can express what they feel. This also means working through the messy emotions to the rich ones just below the surface. Talking about feelings is never a one time thing or easy to do.

Remembering not every person falls into a paradigm. Emotionally aware men capable of discussing what they are feeling fluently live in the same world as silent women scared to give voice to their deepest feelings. Speaking in gross generalities rarely encourage conversation. In fact, it is up to everyone to watch out for themselves, encourage a safe space within the relationship and draw their partner into fruitful discussions. Building and encouraging the other person can be hard, but so very much worth it.

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…
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Director : Luc Besson.
Writer : Luc Besson.
Producer : Luc Besson, Virginie Besson-Silla.
Release : July 20, 2017
Country : France.
Production Company : EuropaCorp.
Language : English.
Runtime : 137
Genre : Adventure, Science Fiction, Action.

Movie ‘Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets’ was released in July 20, 2017 in genre Adventure. Luc Besson was directed this movie and starring by Dane DeHaan. This movie tell story about In the 28th century, Valerian and Laureline are special operatives charged with keeping order throughout the human territories. On assignment from the Minister of Defense, the two undertake a mission to Alpha, an ever-expanding metropolis where species from across the universe have converged over centuries to share knowledge, intelligence, and cultures. At the center of Alpha is a mysterious dark force which threatens the peaceful existence of the City of a Thousand Planets, and Valerian and Laureline must race to identify the menace and safeguard not just Alpha, but the future of the universe.

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Three Key Ways to Know You’re Being Taken for Granted

If a person asks whether or not their being taken for granted, something has broken within the relationship. This does not mean things are doomed. In fact, the most common signs of the state can be corrected provided both people are willing to put in the work to correct the problems. Here are the three keys, the deeper issues they point to and some steps toward relational repair.

Key 1: Lack of Communication

A partner who fails to share what is going on internally leaves space for other things fill the void. There can be a number of minor things triggering the silent treatment. Physical factors like tiredness, emotions like stress or external factors family disagreements may lead someone to take a more reserved approach in conversations. Most of this acute issues pass quick and lines of communication reopen relatively easily.

Deeper issues might shut down sharing long term. A chronic issue leaks into everything going on with a couple. Communication problems exist like the canary in the coal mine. If couples do not work on talking to one another worse things are on the horizon.

Solution: Get to the root of what is blocking the communication. Some of the things keeping people from being fully open in their conversations center around fear. Give one another a pass to share what is really going on inside. From there, communication and appreciation can be rebuilt.

Key 2: Mysterious Decisions

Unilateral decision, especially small ones, demonstrate a lack of interest in what is going on with one’s partner. Arguments could be made when some decisions are better done by one partner or for a special circumstance. After all, who wants to give input on their anniversary gift or surprise birthday party.

Free stock photo of sea, beach, vacation, love

Where things get tricky are when a partner makes the call to major life changes without securing any input. Granted, certain areas may affect one person more than another, so they have a greater vested interest in the outcome. Despite this situation, fractured couples fail to include their partner in any of the decision making process.

Solution: Seeing things as a true partnership helps couples to break the pattern establishing them as solo people under a combined relational roof. Practice helps them to move forward as unit and make decisions together. The first few can be difficult, but once things get rolling support is right around the corner.

Key 3: Ignored Needs

A sure sign of being taken for granted centers around personal needs, no matter how trivial, neglected. Several excuses can be offered. The offending member, especially if the been happening for a while, will have several explanations in their quiver. These lame offerings prove how damaged the relationship has become.

Underneath the simple thoughtlessness, base selfishness demonstrates the damage done by one person taking care of only themselves. Almost the very definition of taking someone for granted is placing oneself above them and their needs. If a partner practices this behavior, they will likely have developed some skillful reasons they need to protect themselves. These are only more elaborate excuses.

Solution: Acknowledging the mistake, asking for forgiveness and striving to place the partner’s needs in a higher status allows for the opportunity to alleviate the damage done. The steps involved will require repeated use to repair the damage. The time for simple fixes will be gone, so commitment is necessary.

Being taken for granted presents as a deep relational fracture with several tributaries coming off of it. Time and effort can heal the damage done through long silences, unilateral choices and selfishness. Each person must commit to a strong plan of action and from there set about rebuilding what they possessed before. Love is worth the effort.

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Director : Chris McKay.
Producer : Roy Lee, Dan Lin, Phil Lord, Christopher Miller.
Release : February 8, 2017
Country : Denmark, United States of America.
Production Company : Lin Pictures, Warner Bros. Animation, Warner Bros., Animal Logic, DC Entertainment, Lord Miller, LEGO System A/S.
Language : English, Deutsch.
Runtime : 104
Genre : Action, Animation, Comedy, Family, Fantasy.

Movie ‘The Lego Batman Movie’ was released in February 8, 2017 in genre Action. Chris McKay was directed this movie and starring by Will Arnett. This movie tell story about In the irreverent spirit of fun that made “The Lego Movie” a worldwide phenomenon, the self-described leading man of that ensemble—Lego Batman—stars in his own big-screen adventure. But there are big changes brewing in Gotham, and if he wants to save the city from The Joker’s hostile takeover, Batman may have to drop the lone vigilante thing, try to work with others and maybe, just maybe, learn to lighten up.

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Stimulating His…Mind

A stereotype about men focuses on the simplicity of the masculine mind. The good news is most men require more hitting on a couple of bases to be engaged mentally. The bad new is finding the right things to tap into may require more effort than expected to get things going. Taking into account certain steps will bring about the possibility for greater and deeper engagement on many fronts.

Check the Regulars

Popular activities are so named because of their populist nature. It might be easy as a starting off point to look into your guy’s interest in more mainstream activities.

Sports: Does he follow a team? Has he participated in an unusual sport like rock climbing or scuba diving?
Movies: What’s his favorite movie? Does he enjoy old movie houses? Or been to a film festival?
Pets: Has one? Wants one? What’s the most exotic animal he would like to have a pet if there was no law against it?

These and countless other general categories can allow for conversation and questions. They may also trigger other topics or scenarios. You can even pull up pages from popular search engines as a starting off point. One great thing about using this approach is nothing is generally off limits because they can spin to a variety of other areas.
Go Off Track

Taking a risk and going toward more avant garde topics means being ready for what comes next. A censored conversation shuts down any opportunity to truly engage in deeper stimulation. Also, he needs to feel safe to share in the pursuit of these areas. If he senses he may be teased, your man will resist exploring. Almost nothing shuts down real mental stimulation like fear.

Close-up of Couple Holding Hands

Art: Everyone has opinions about art whether they have attended art history classes or not. Talking about the composition of a particular piece or exhibition will be a fun adventure. It will also help if it is something you can explore together.

Music: Live performance excites many because it intersects heart, mind and body. Many guys may resist natural urges to move in rhythm to the music, popularly known as dancing, but they can be tricked into it if they feel good in the setting. Plus, the event will be something great to talk about on the way home.

Read Together: Selecting a book and either reading to one another or together will introduce new ideas and debates into the relationship. Endless tomes exist to explore including histories, biographies, fiction and poetry. Each one expands both of you making mutual stimulation a healthy byproduct.

Ultimately, the best way to stimulate the mind of your man is to ask questions, listen to his answers and share your insights. Nothing is sexier than conversation. It delves deep into what a person cares about while giving opportunities to introduce new things. The longer a couple remains together the deeper and more daring they can be. Topics considered off limits at the beginning may open up into rich and exciting area of growth.

Take the risk and be open to where the journey carries the two of you. You’ll be rewarded for your boldness.

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

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Director : Michael Showalter.
Writer : Kumail Nanjiani, Emily V. Gordon.
Producer : Judd Apatow, Barry Mendel.
Release : June 23, 2017
Country : United States of America.
Production Company : FilmNation Entertainment, Apatow Productions, Amazon Studios.
Language : English, اردو.
Runtime : 120
Genre : Comedy, Drama, Romance.

Movie ‘The Big Sick’ was released in June 23, 2017 in genre Comedy. Michael Showalter was directed this movie and starring by Kumail Nanjiani. This movie tell story about Pakistan-born comedian Kumail Nanjiani and grad student Emily Gardner fall in love but struggle as their cultures clash. When Emily contracts a mysterious illness, Kumail finds himself forced to face her feisty parents, his family’s expectations, and his true feelings.

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Gaining More Respect from Your Partner

Respect, like so many other aspects of relationships, flow up and down. While making sure respect remains mutual, one might need to shore up flagging levels. One needs to establish respect at the outset because gaining more can only occur if it exists to begin with. Once with respect, then a few simple behaviors will guard what has been gained and slowly add to it.

Guarding the Line

A good way to increase the respect being received starts with preventing the loss of any gained over time. These behaviors come from strong inner core. The world and partners will seek to erode personal respect for several reasons. They might feel threatened, seek to build themselves up through destruction or make sure their own level of respect does not diminish. Here are some good practices to not lose anything from the bucket holding your respect.

                                                                                     Click Here

* Set Boundaries: Attacks to respect happen most frequently when someone does not have healthy boundaries. The best definition of boundaries equates to a line in the sand delineating something not to be violated. Disrespectful people will be inclined to step over the line for any number of reasons including believing their needs outstrip the natural reasons for the boundary.

* Be Independent: People respect those who are capable of existing in a state of sufficiency. This does not mean fierce independence punctuated by an attitude of not needing anyone is called for. Such a hard line stance fails to encourage a partnership. A fine line separates being different from a partner and remaining isolated emotionally.

Free stock photo of sea, dawn, sky, sunset
respect

* Respect Yourself: The simplest way to maintain respect centers around having it for yourself. Asking a partner, even someone who loves you deeply, to have something you do not have for yourself is akin to expecting a horse to fly. Take the time to assess your own value and stand up for it when challenged.

On the Offensive

Being defensive alone will gain nothing. At best, a steady guarding of respect will prevent any from going astray. Only when combined with active step will aid in building the level of respect. Unlike with vigilant approach, active responses for respect need to be doled out in targeted doses if they are going to be effective.

* Avoid Settling: It can be easy to think the best way to build the relationships centers around getting along. Working together within a couple can be important, but constant compromising pokes holes in bucket holding respect. One knows when they are settling and need to stand up for what is important. Which leads to the next arrow in the quiver.

* Speak Out: Thinking things never bring about change. Only by taking the risk and calling for respect verbally will clarify how important it is to you. Without that tangible conversation, they could claim a lack of knowledge. These types of discussions may cause sparks. Having a plan and sticking to it will help in the heat of the conversation.

* Stick to What You Say: Respect is never gained by grand speeches alone. When a plan has been established or a boundary set, following through is critical. The action alone demonstrates the level of commitment and garner more respect. Being aware of how this will play in the future should also curtail any overly ambitious promises.

Respect must remain mutual. Careful selection of a partner, cultivating the relationship and taking time to consider how each decision will impact the other person builds the reservoir of respect for both people. Hang in there, do the work and revel in what is being formed by sowing seeds in the fertile ground of a respectful relationship.

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

Click Here…