I can still feel the magic
Of your soft tender touch
I can still hear your voice
Calling my name
I can still see the signs
From a long time ago
Through the tears in my eyes
Tears of love
One by one
Från samlingsvolymen Secret Hiding Places utgiven år 2000 av The International Library Poetry.
Im the master of my universe
Nothing more and nothing less
A warrior for the thruth
My soul will confess
Im a creator of my reality
Everything i see
A keeper for the peace
My God have placed in me
On the earth i hear children crying
I see people with empty eyes
Too many´s hearts are dying
Trying to be someone else
We all carry the flame within us
In our own unique way
So let´s live and love forever
Today is the greatest day
by Rachel Wood
Today’s society is fast-paced and consistently on the go. People are busy running errands and working from sun up to sun down, leaving little to no time for their significant other.
The crazy lives that so many people live demand a lot out of them. Between work, children and social lives, finding time to spend a quality, relaxed evening with loved ones is becoming increasingly more difficult. However, those who regularly attend couple therapy sessions are likely better able to balance their crazy lives.
Families in Salt Lake City often find themselves running from soccer practice immediately to piano lessons while stopping at the store to get things for dinner. With so much going on, while dad or mom is away at work all day, it’s no wonder many couples find themselves falling asleep on the couch while watching the evening news, instead of utilizing that time to enjoy each others company.
It’s not just any couple that can benefit from attending therapy; it’s all of them. Most relationships thrive when each person takes time out of their day to do even the small stuff, like a goodnight phone call or a good morning kiss. If more couples listened to a therapist, they would find that although they may not see their significant other as much as they’d like, they could still feel connected.
Simply by attending therapy as a couple, these relationships could benefit greatly and save themselves from becoming completely disconnected.
Even if a couple is seemingly perfect, a therapy session is always a good idea. It’s a great place to express any feelings that one may have trouble expressing. It’s also a great way to get to know each other better. A therapist is able to help people emotionally, and many couples find that after attending a therapy session, they feel much more connected than before.
Date night doesn’t always have to be a night out in Salt Lake City. Quality time can be spent together at home, curled up watching a romantic movie at the end of a long and busy day.
The world is becoming increasingly more fast-paced, but nearly every couple in Salt Lake City and places alike have found that they feel more connected to their partner after attending a few therapy sessions.
by Vanaja Ghose
We all say that we would turn and run from a controlling, manipulative spouse or lover, but in reality many people are in emotionally abusive relationships without even realizing it. Some manipulators are so smooth and subtle that their partner may sense something is not quite right but find themselves unable to put a finger on what is actually wrong.
Do you think someone you are with right now could be exhibiting manipulative behavior? Do you believe you would be able to identify a manipulator if you were interacting with one? Most people believe they could tell the difference between manipulation and respectful communication, but time and time again highly intelligent women fall for manipulators without realizing it.
The biggest sign that you may be dealing with a manipulator is a sense of guilt and confusion after talking with them. Manipulative behavior is not physical action, but spoken words and subtle stares and odd glances.
Manipulation is a form of communication that is often designed to make you feel wrong, ashamed or guilty of your own opinions, ideas, or preferences.
For instance, if a manipulative boyfriend wants to control where you go on a Friday night he may ask pointed questions and give you odd or shocked glares when you tell him you are going to go out with friends. He may ask questions such as “you’re going to leave your children with a sitter all night? Do you think that’s a good idea?”
Or, a woman might say to her boyfriend, “If you don’t come with me to the shopping mall, next time you want to go to the hockey game I won’t go with you.”
The point of those questions is to make you feel guilty or ashamed even though neither are justified, and it is manipulative behavior, whether you or your boyfriend recognize it consciously or not.
Manipulation also includes blaming you for things that are not your fault. This is another subtle way of making you feel ashamed of something that you should not rightfully have to feel ashamed of.
Why would a manipulator want to make you feel shame and blame? They do this because they want to control your behaviors, thoughts, or actions. They want you to fall in line with actions and conversations that are within their own comfort zones. This is often a sign of serious insecurity or deep seated emotional issues.
Someone who displays a more serious level of manipulative behavior may also try to make you feel real fear if you don’t do something that they want you to do. Taking our example from above about going out with your friends on a Friday night against your boyfriend’s wishes, he may put fear in you by mentioning a child abducted or beaten while in the care of a babysitter. This is offered only to put fear in you about leaving your child so you will not go out.
If you are in a relationship where your partner continually argues against your own opinions or desires, and it seems like they don’t even hear what you are saying most of the time, you may be dealing with a habitual manipulator. You may feel as if you can never win an argument with them so it is not even worth trying to disagree. Any attempt of having a conversation to convince them of otherwise leaves you feeling exhausted.
If you find yourself just going along with what your partner says, does, or wants, because you know they will push you into agreement anyway, then you are succumbing to manipulative behavior. It is important to pay attention to your intuition – if it feels wrong, then it is. If joy, happiness, and meaningful discussions are missing in the relationship, ask yourself why.
Awareness of manipulative behavior is important, otherwise it is easy to slowly become brainwashed and you will start to doubt yourself.
Once you are aware, start being firm with your partner. The word “stop” can be tried first, but if that doesn’t work after a few attempts, the best solution is to not play their game and walk away.
About the Author
Vanaja Ghose ( http://www.divorcedtodazzling.com/about-2/) is a Professional Life Coach helping divorced women and those who chose to leave their long term relationship, and now want to powerfully create a dazzling life.Download your FREE MP3 Audio on “Nine Steps to Building a New Life After Divorce” and contact Vanaja for a free 30-minute strategy session at http://www.divorcedtodazzling.com/
Do you truly miss this person’s mind, body, and soul? Or do you simply want them back because you want what you no longer have? See the difference?
Regardless of how you are currently feeling, now is the time to assess the situation objectively and figure it out without letting your emotions get in the way.
Look at the big picture of you and your ex – past and present. Now, take yourself (and your emotions) out of the picture. What advice would you give yourself about your current situation?
Understandably, this is somewhat difficult to do when you are drowning in a river of tears. But if you can get to this point, you will be able to clearly see what you should do; make up or move on. If you decide to reconcile with your ex, follow these steps to increase your chances of success.
Extreme begging or desperate behavior will only make you look pathetic in the eyes of your ex lover. Also, this may induce feelings of resentment later on. How would you feel if they did this to you? This is the wrong approach. At all costs maintain your dignity.
Are you one of these people that never apologize or admit when they are wrong? If so, you need to come clean and swallow your pride. Chances are you’ll probably be instantly forgiven by getting off your high-horse, coming down to Earth, and actually saying sorry for whatever it is you did. Not only that, your ex will likely be blown away and see you in a whole new light (respect).
Talk is cheap, while actions demonstrate motivation. Therefore, stop telling your ex how much you’ve changed – show them. Promises are just dust in the wind if you don’t put action behind them – especially if your ex has heard it all before.
It may not feel like it right now, but you can live just fine without your ex lover. Letting your emotions get completely out of control and using them against your ex with threats and/or manipulations will likely send them running in the other direction. Also, it will highlight the exact reasons why you’re probably having problems in the first place. Do you want to reunite with someone who is sincere and hopeful about making up with you, or with someone who feels negatively pressured into reconciling with you?
Playing games such as pretending you’re with someone new in order to make your ex jealous or even something creepy like stalking, will not bring your lover back. This may backfire once you do get back together and may ultimately harm their feelings of trust in you.
By all appearances, romancing your ex with the intention of getting them back can seem a bit manipulative. However, if performed with a sincere and genuine heart, by all means go for it. Send your ex authentic love letters, gifts you know they will enjoy, or simply remind them of the good times you two once shared. Do not focus on what went wrong, but rather what went right. Remind them either through words or actions the reasons you two got together that initially sparked your attraction to one another.
Whatever the reasons were for the breakup (whether you walked away or them), you have to let it go. Let the past go or you will never have a future. People change. Nobody’s perfect. What’s done is done. Forgive and move forward to increase your chances of a loving reunion.
You are going to be fine no matter what. Truly, you must make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. Also, if getting your ex back means they are unwilling to meet you halfway, then perhaps it’s time to say goodbye. No relationship is worth sacrificing your soul or happiness.
Relationships are a series of good times and bad. The key is in making the good times exceptional and brief.
Doing this makes the bad times increasingly rare, briefer every time, and helps to maintain a little bit of brightness when they arrive.
No, you don’t have to break the break. We’re not talking about tokens along the lines of Ertha Kitt’s infamous Christmas list.
The big gifts in life might light a fire in the eyes of the woman you love. But, it’s the little things that melt her heart and bind her to you in ways no sable coats ever will.
Women like to cuddle. Not as a form of foreplay, but simply as a sign of affection. Holding hands, cuddling on the couch, and laying with her feet (or head) in your lap are perfect.
They are all signs of casual intimacy and love that MATTER to her in a really big way. It’s a small gesture on your part that carrier massive weight in her heart.
You know what they are. You’ve probably said them to her dozens of times. You’ve probably not said them to her even more. The thing is, she NEEDS to hear them.
Those words mean the world to her because they reinforce her position in YOUR world. Tell her “I love you!” and watch how her face just lights up at the reminder.
The other thing your woman needs from you more than you’ll ever know or understand is your approval. Give it to her.
Tell her she looks great tonight. Even if she “dismisses” it with something along the lines of a questioning “This old thing,” she is secretly tickled and extremely pleased to hear it.
She works hard to look good for you, prepare good food for you to eat, and keep your house in great shape. Acknowledge her efforts and you’ll be rewarded with a very happy girlfriend, wife, or partner on your hands.
When was the last time you threw caution to the wind and asked her out on a date? Not asking her, “Do you wanna go do something?” But, asking her on an actual date. A date you’ve planned out ahead of time?
If not, now is the time. It will rock her world and melt her heart even more. Try it! You’re going to love the results!
Heartbreak does not mean it is the end of the world. To many people it can be a wake up call that triggers our inner strenght. We may also move on to something better in our life. The world is constantly changing and so are you. And just because a certain someone was right for you at one time doesn’t mean they always will be. This is true in virtually every area of life including your career, home, habits, and your relationships.
Although we can’t visibly see it, we are continually evolving into a bigger and better version of ourselves. Sometimes, as much as it hurts, we have to let go of someone because we grew in a different direction from them.
It’s not good or bad – it just is. And the sooner you realize this, the quicker you can heal your heartbreak and move on with your own life. Have you even considered there’s someone better for you out there? Someone perhaps more compatible?
Your lifestyle and the lifestyle of the person who broke your heart eventually stopped being compatible. If you can accept that your values were heading on a different course, you will understand why your union was temporary whether you were with them 3 years or 30 years. People change.
Let’s explore why it’s in your best interest to let go and move on.
Your partner’s negativity is starting to rub off on you, and since you are the company you keep – you’re turning into a negative, sour person.
Who you spend the majority of your time with greatly influences the person you are evolving into. Ever notice how your mood changes if you’re around negative, pessimistic people for any length of time?
Sadly, no matter how much you wish things could be different, either you or your partner has slowly progressed away from your fundamental values. Truthfully, this is a natural part of life in many instances. Can you imagine how dreadful it would be if nothing and no one ever evolved, progressed, or changed? Unfortunately, this principle applies to couples as well and they simply grow apart.
What worked for you in the beginning of a relationship no longer works now. You are different and so is your partner. You’re not the same person you were 5 minutes ago let alone after 5 years. It’s hard to let go and may be difficult to start fresh with your new truth, but it’s necessary.
Depending on how long you’ve been in a relationship with someone, it may be overwhelming and scary to think of yourself on your own. You may have been through a separation or divorce before and are afraid of going through that heartbreak again.
So you have to ask yourself – do you want to remain in a miserable but somewhat secure (financial) relationship? Or take a leap of faith in order to find a level of happiness you’ve never known before?
Don’t let your disappointments and fears for a heartbreak hold you back from living your best life ever.
You’re letting an old grudge keep you from complete happiness and joy. Holding on to hatred, resentment, and anger doesn’t hurt or affect the other person, it only hurts you.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean it’s okay what they did to you; what it does mean is you’re willing to forgive, forget, and move on. The Universe will take care of their wrongdoings in terms of karma, so no worries there.
Let go of the pain this person has caused you and anyone else for that matter. The grudge is only hurting you.
No matter how much it hurts, sometimes the best and obvious answer is to simply let go and move on. And when you do, doors will open for you in ways you never thought possible. Trust that it will happen, and it will. Even a heartbreak wont last forever.
If you are in pain and confused?
Now I can almost see you shaking your head in disbelief…
And it’s okay…let me ask?
Don’t you know couples that have gotten back together? A girl that has taken a guy back?…or vice versa?
I bet you do…and here’s the strange real clincher…
Do you remember why they broke up in the first place? I bet you know at least one guy or gal that took their lover back after an affair…or unfaithfulness…or worse even?
Think about it for a sec…
Sure! And I bet you know of…or have heard of at least one girl that has taken a guy back that REALLY should not have…you know the ones I am talking about…(and I know this is kind of dark)… the girls or guys that are in verbally or physically abusive relationships.
Now, that is some really dark stuff and I am not recommending to anyone to take someone back if the relationship was abusive…I am using it as a point that almost NO SITUATION is unsalvageable…
Seriously, Doesn’t that make sense? That if most of us can think of couples that have gotten back together…under even some horrible circumstances…that there could be somehidden recipe, or secret even, to reigniting passion and recapturing lost love?
Now…I am not saying they were holding some “secret love spell” book and doing weird chants…not at all…at the same time somehow, by MOSTLY accident they said and did the RIGHT THINGS at the RIGHT TIME…and won back the heart of their lover…or at least created the circumstances where their ex gave them a second chance.
Allow me to repeat…they did this by mostly ACCIDENT!
What if? What they said…and what they did…could be “bottled” so to speak? And then you could “unbottle” it and put it to use? To erase old hurts…to reignite passion again…to turn back to a time when your relationship was fresh, new and exciting.
You see there IS a “recipe for love” as well as a recipe for winning back and keeping some ones interest, desire, passion, heart and love…
What they did by “accident” can be repeated over and over on PURPOSE!
And you know what?
If I were you…I would be somewhat skeptical right now…that’s totally fine! I am going to show you some concrete proof. Just bear with me okay?
-Leaving the radio off because every song makes you cry
-Loss of appetite
-Binge eating for comfort
-Calling your ex several times a day
-Text messaging and emailing constantly (Text Message Terrorism)
-Constantly checking your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
-Not going out because you are afraid to miss a call
-Thinking non-stop about why they REALLY left you
-Feeling massively depressed
-Feeling urges to spy on them
-Endlessly rehearsing what you should have said
-Endlessly rehearsing what you will say if you bump into them
…and when you do get a hold of them, it usually turns ugly because without a clear plan of what you are supposed to do…what happens? P-A-N-I-C…defensiveness…arguments…and then it gets really nasty.
-We try to convince them we are the love of their life
-We will apologize profusely for everything
-Promise to change for good this time
-Try to get them to see that it wasn’t really our fault
-Even beg with them to take us back
…and of course with every word we utter, regardless of our intention, the more and more defensive, angry and distant they become.
Please know…this is not your fault! You weren’t taught this in school. You probably weren’t taught this by your parents…and there is no “get your ex back” night school…
And it is really a shame too because what could be more important than love?..Cars?…Money?…Clothes?…ALGEBRA?
So why? Are there all kinds of books, magazines and help on fixing a car,managing money and all the latest fashions, yet very little USEFUL information on how to fix a broken relationship…manage your emotions or getting the love of your life back?
And now as you will soon see…all that has changed.
Please allow me to introduce myself…My name is T.W. Jackson, I know kinda weird…it’s a long story…you can just call me “T Dub”…I want to say right off the bat, that I am not a psychologist, Doctor or some relationship guru…In fact I royally piss off the academic types and I’ll tell you why in a second…
I have been a military brat…or in the military for a majority of my life. In fact I joined the US Navy when I was a ripe old 17 years of age. Because of my life long military experience I’ve had dozens of homes…in 11countries… and lived long term in 5 states in the U.S.
And because I have lived in so many places and changed schools so often as a kid…I had to learn…and learn REALLY FAST…how to get along with people. And people from ALL WALKS OF LIFE. I can sit down and have some sake with my friend in Tokyo…or pop open a can of suds and fish Lake Dardanelle with an Arkansas “redneck” buddy of mine…makes no difference…
More importantly…I became really good at reading people, understanding what makes them “tick” and even got to a point where I could influence their behavior and actions.
In fact, I got quite good at doing this, so good in fact that I was the “go to” guy whenever my friends had just about any kind of “people problem”…I kind of felt like the male version of “Dear Abby”…
Maybe you even know someone a little like me?…someone that you go to when you have “people problems”…
Anyway…I got a ton of practice keeping relationships together…and putting them back together after they had come apart…because the divorce rate for military couples is MUCH HIGHER than average.
At this point, I must WARN YOU…STRONGLY WARN YOU…my advice and methods are VERY unconventional. I get relationship counselors and the like REALLY ANGRY because they are charging $50 to $100 an hour (sometimes for months and even years) and I can whisper just one of my methods in my friends ear…he DOES IT… And next thing you know… he’s back home, laying back on the couch and watching HOUSE with his fiance on Monday nights.
Now you are free to make up your own mind about me. I just don’t believe that any amount of sitting in a classroom can make up for the REAL WORLD experience that I have under my belt…
I mean, what’s a more valuable experience?…Listening to a lecture on libido? Or BEING THERE when my buddy’s girlfriend is chucking his clothes and skivvies out the bedroom window because she thinks he was with some tart the night before?
I don’t know about you, my money is on the guy with the real world experience any day.
Now, if you are hanging out with me here today, I am guessing you have “relationship troubles” too? If you do…I think I can help…
If you have broken up and want to get your guy or gal back, obviously I can’t talk too or be with everyone, I just don’t have enough time…but I have done what I believe to be the next best thing…
I have put my years of experience…into a really easy to follow… love recipe for”getting back together”…and again I forewarn you right now…these are techniques and strategies that are NOT conventional wisdom…and I doubt you have ever read or heard these techniques before.
…and I’ll tell you…
Frankly, I get a little freaked out about just how well it works…and worry that it may be used for less than honorable intentions. I mean I want to help GOOD people…I don’t want to help JERKS get girls back that would be better off without them. I do NOT want to help “psycho chick” steal away a married man.
Like a knife, these techniques and principles can be used for great good or grave harm.
This is NOT FOR
-People with severe mental problems
-Other Crazies, Cuckoos or Whack Jobs
Anyway, I have titled the “recipe” simply The Magic Of Making Up…See, it is my opinion that there are really no impossible situations. I have seen women not only wait on a man for months, but take back men that have spent years in prison…and… I have seen men take women back that have had MORE THAN ONE AFFAIR…
And everything else in between! How crazy is that?
You know what?
By now, I bet you really want to see some proof that this works? I would too if I were you.
The best way I know to prove to you that these techniques really work is by giving you some free samples and by showing you testimonials from guys and gals that have already used these techniques successfully.
(Over 50,119 Customers In 77 Countries Have Used This Proven System!)
Just wanted to thank you and let you know how much you have helped me. I followed the [your guide] after a very bitter breakup of a two-year plus relationship (my first since my divorce from a21-year marriage). It started out being one of the most difficult things I have ever attempted in my life and after the initial two weeks I started feeling stronger each day and better about myself. My ex sent me an apology email three weeks in …By now, I had the strength to actually “sleep on it” and sent him a response the next day…within seconds he called me and asked to see me and was crying because he was glad I was talking to him. We are starting out very slowly again as friends (which is difficult for me since I am still deeply in love with him). An interesting note is this is a long distance relationship and your program still worked!! I am so happy to have him in my life again.
Just wanted to say thank you soooooooooo much for the amazing advice in your book the magic of making up. Yesterday was that all important First Date and it was absolutely fantastic… i just had an email from him saying what a great time he had and how he can’t believe how cool it was to be together. Also back when we split up, your book picked me up out of the mud when I was feeling the worst I ever felt in my life, and doing all the things you advised gave me a life line – now I am so much stronger and happier. I’m still going to take things slowly with my ex (I’m not at the end of your plan yet!!) but I can’t believe how well life is going only 2 months after I felt like I was half dead. Thank you so much.
…just an email to say thanks for all the support and knowledge. my boyfriend has just proposed. we are the happiest we have ever been. wedding booked for 2011.
Just wanted to say THANKS!!
Me and my ex are talking now. The letter thing worked, even though I thought it wouldn’t….
I have good news, my ex did get back with me! She said to me the guy she went out with before was a cover up and she was lying to herself the whole time. Thanks for the support.
got him back we were married again on the 25th of January ….
I am beside myself that something actually came of this…
I was SO skeptical putting in $39 to an e-book. I was positive it would be a waste of money, and there wouldn’t even be a book as promised.
PLEASE make it clear somewhere on your page that this is NOT A SCAM and that there are 62 PAGES FOR THIS BOOK, PLUS BONUSES.
I was beside myself.
Thank you so much…
Just wanted to let you know your advice is so rational and so sound… At such a horrible and tough time it is reassuring to read the correct way to handle yourself and go about respecting someone’s wishes (a breakup) but at the same time try to get them back. A lot of people don’t realize how simple and easy it is, patience is a virtue and because of you … I am now dating the love of my life again, we were together for 4 years, split for only 2 1/2 months and are now back together. I did what you… told me was the ONLY option and it worked. If it is true love and meant to be, your advice is impossible not to work. Thanks for the guidance. You’re a good man!
well it tool some time but i got my girl back. she pretty [much] got down on her hands and knees coming back to me thanks buddy.
I have just downloaded the materials from the website. I am eager to read and learn.
I ALREADY HAVE WONDERFUL NEWS!!
Just from the video via your website, before attaining the reading materials, I
talked with my ex yesterday for 40 MINUTES!! It has been months since we have
talked that long like friends. He even hinted around that we could have a
future together. MY ATTITUDE WAS DIFFERENT!! I WAS FRIENDLY AND ACTED LIKE THE
BREAKUP IS OK!!
Thanks for the free advice and I can’t wait to get to reading!!
I’ll keep in touch.
Guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i took your advice and my ex- boyfriend and i are back together again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and thanks 4 the advice AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH! I GOT MY EX BACK JUST AN HOUR AGO ! I CANT BELIEVE THIS WORKED ! !!
Just wanted to thank you for all your help! Your book is amazing and got my man and I back together within a few weeks of reading it. Now to clarify, it had already been some time since we had even spoken to each other, and I was really starting to miss him. I read your instructions very carefully and fallowed them to the tee, and it worked! … I could not have done it without you! We are now blissfully celebrating are Birthdays together, and are even planning a beach getaway just us two.
Thank you sooooo much!!!
thanks for all you help and encouraging words,quotes and what to do. He proposed and we are finally married thank you very much.
OMG!!! This totally worked….nothing I had tried worked and then I texted him that message and he returned my call!! I cannot wait to see where this goes….
I did buy the book, and got back together in one week. [removed due to personal nature]
Hi there! Wishing you a very happy Christmas too! Thank you so much for your help, your ideas really managed to open my eyes and to see you from another perspective!!i never used to think of it that way. I have learned a lot about myself too, and i now know how to speak to him whilst keeping in control of the situation at the same time. My ex and i had a long distance relationship and he is flying over to see me here in England to try and sort all this mess out!
Regards and many thanks