A great deal has been espoused about men and their feelings. One of the interesting things centers around what people, both men and women, expect counter to the underlying truth surrounding the emotional lives of men. The topic often triggers many debates. Everyone must put their preconceived notions to the side and begin afresh with the discussion about men, their feelings and how to they can express them.
Myth 1: Men Don’t Have Feelings
Some classical male archetypes come across as silent, emotionless pieces of granite. This presentation in movies, books and countless other pieces of media helps perpetuate the idea of men being able to bear up under any burden without a sound. Giving the idea of a heartless man life means certain ideas can be perpetuated.
Truth: Everyone, regardless of their sex, has feelings. To assume men don’t feel things is to divorce them from their humanity. If someone removed an essential part of being human from any other demographic, they would be viewed as close minded and even cruel. Keep in mind everyone feels.
Myth 2: Men Have Fewer Words Around Their Feelings
Many people note how much women are able to discuss their feelings. They provide study results about the number of words for various feelings women can access. These same people equate the lack of matching words for men to mean either they do not possess the same depth of emotion or are unable to communicate their feelings.
Truth: Language is a learned skill. Think about how children learn to speak. First, they make sounds, then form words and then sentences. All of these capture the thoughts they are having allowing them express everything from logical points to dreams to feelings. The same is true for everyone. If any part of the development process is held back because of outside pressures, those individuals will not possess the same skills as others.
Myth 3: Men Don’t Like Talking About Their Emotions
Charged conversations including those dealing with emotional issues may devolve into a heated argument. In the throws of such a situation, both people may lean on emotionless logic to find purchase in the whirlwind of loud voices. Because of this retreat to a reasoned approach, it would be safe to say no one likes talking about their feelings, no matter if they are male or female.
Truth: In a safe environment, men open up about what they feel. It is important to be remember the risk of sharing feelings including a risk of judgement. Everyone needs to know they can express what they feel. This also means working through the messy emotions to the rich ones just below the surface. Talking about feelings is never a one time thing or easy to do.
Remembering not every person falls into a paradigm. Emotionally aware men capable of discussing what they are feeling fluently live in the same world as silent women scared to give voice to their deepest feelings. Speaking in gross generalities rarely encourage conversation. In fact, it is up to everyone to watch out for themselves, encourage a safe space within the relationship and draw their partner into fruitful discussions. Building and encouraging the other person can be hard, but so very much worth it.