Monthly Archives: September 2013

Why Do Women Leave Marriages?

If you look at the statistics about divorce, they are often quite shocking. According to the Huffington Post, women are 2/3 more likely to ask for a divorce than men are. The real question though, is why are women more likely to walk away from a marriage than men are? The opinions on this vary greatly. However, these are a few of the most common reasons women ultimately ask for divorce.

Cheating Husbands

A man who is cheating on his wife, doesn’t necessarily want out of the marriage. If he can have his cake and eat it on the side, he’s not inclined to rock the boat. If the shoe is on the other foot, however, and the husband finds out his wife is cheating, the story is a little different, though many men don’t consider cheating to be quite the same betrayal the average woman does. Of course, not all marriages where the husband cheats end in divorce. It is, though, really difficult for women to move past, even if they initially try to work things out after the cheating occurs.

Money Matters

Money, in the Bible, is called the root of all evil. Whether or not you agree with that particular assessment, it is the number one cause of divorce and breakups worldwide. Women want security in their marriages. That includes financial security. It’s not always a matter of men not making enough money, but may very directly be related to how you spend and/or save money.

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Needs Not Met at Home

This is the primary reason women cheat and one of the big contributing factors to a woman seeking divorce. It’s also more than a little unfair to the man because women are often not likely to tell you what those needs are so that you do have a chance to meet them. It’s difficult for women, who are generally more intuitive than men are. She thinks you should somehow know what those needs are and is upset, and often hurt, that you aren’t meeting them. The trick here is to find out what her needs are. Ask her if you must, and make sure you’re meeting them at every opportunity to do so.

Reality doesn’t Live up to Expectation

Men have a hard road job here. Before marriage, you work hard to woo your wife. You’re always doing little things in an effort to get her attention and make her your wife. Once she’s your wife, you often stop aiming to please in many ways. She’s grown to expect those things from you and you’ve stopped delivering. It’s the same level of disappointment you feel when she stops working so hard to stroke your ego. Real life often comes in and kicks all expectations of what married life will be like in the teeth.

Understanding why women leave can help you take the steps now to prevent your wife from asking for a divorce. Now is the time to take action so you can avoid the painful process of divorce and the risk of losing so much more than the woman you love.

Ps. Dont forget that no matter how dark it seems in your relationship there is always a light somewhere; this could be your light in the dark=>

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Four Ways To Make Your Man Feel Like He’s the King of Your Castle

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It doesn’t take long for most women to figure out the dynamics of your relationship. Your man feels best, when he feels as though he’s large and in charge around the house. Perhaps it’s a respect issue. Perhaps it’s simply something that’s been ingrained in the mail psyche since the Cro-Magnon phase. Regardless, the need still exists for men to at least believe they rule the roost. Here are a few things you can do to make your man feel like he’s definitely the king of your castle.

1) Give him your loyalty. Loyalty is perhaps the most important thing your man expects from you. Don’t sit around with girlfriends talking bad about him. Lift him up in your words, thoughts, and actions. It will make a world of difference for you and for him.

2) Show him your respect. Respect is just as important for the average man as loyalty. When you respect him, you’re always trying to earn his respect in return. It’s a state of mind thing. However, when you SHOW him your respect, you’re giving him the exact type of affirmation of your love he needs in order to remain confident in your love for him and his role in the family.

 

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3) Stop NAGGING. He hates his more than you know. Not only does it make him FEEL disrespected, it also shows him that you’re not respecting the many things he does to keep your family in ship-shape. Nagging, in his eyes, is simply pointing out the ways you think he’s failing or letting you down. Most of the time, it makes him that much more determined not to do the thing you want accomplished and it creates a vicious cycle of unhappiness all around. Find another way to accomplish your goals if asking once isn’t getting it done. It will save your relationship a great deal of conflict and will spare ill will on both sides of the equation.

4) Tell him how you feel. How long has it been since you’ve made the effort to tell your man how glad you are that he’s in your life. Let him know how many ways he makes your life better. Inform him of just how much you admire and respect him. Flatter him. Boost his ego. And remind him just how happy you are to be part of his life — and how glad you are that he is part of yours.
You don’t have to debase yourself in order to let him be king of your castle. You don’t have to grovel at his feet or bow down before him. You don’t even have to do the Wayne’s World “We’re not worthy!” montage. You just have to do these four things and he’ll never need to wonder about his place in your heart and mind.

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Four Simple Things You Can Do To Make Your Girl Feel Special

Successful relationships aren’t always about perfect matches, fewer fights, or zero conflicts in the relationships. They’re often about how you make each other FEEL. If you feel disrespected or scorned by your wife, you’re not going to feel good about your relationship. You’re not going to want to stay.

Women often FEEL, whether or not they really are, as though they’re taken for granted, inferior, or second place in the lives of the men they love. Those are the moments when they cry into their pillows because they feel as though no matter how much they give, work, and try, it’s never enough. That’s why it’s so important for you to do simple things like these to make her FEEL as special as she is to you.

1) Leave her silly little love notes. I bet you did this when you first started dating. How long has it been since you’ve done it? Not text messages or emails. Hand-written little love notes. On sticky notes, bathroom mirrors, or even cocktail napkins. They don’t have to be deep and profound. They just need to exist.

2) Give her fun awards. Let her know how much you appreciate the things she does around the house (cleaning, cooking, taking care of the children) by coming home with bars of chocolate, gourmet coffee drinks, blue ribbons, or tiny tokens of appreciation. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to make her feel special. It’s rarely about the money and always about how you make her feel.

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3) Become “Mr. Mom” one night a week. It sounds like a huge imposition. It may even go against your grain. However, the rewards of giving her this one night a week off, will be well worth your sacrifice. Give her one night to relax, rest, and not be the one making all the household decisions for an evening. If Michael Keaton could do it back in the 1980’s, you’ve got this!

4) Tell her how you really feel. I know, the strong silent type is what women want. It’s true. However, she doesn’t want you quiet all the time. She may never acknowledge to you how much it means to her to hear these words, but they matter to her — a LOT! If you want to make her heart swell with pride in a job well done and to fill her head with the knowledge that she is loved and appreciated by you, the number one way to make the message clear is in your own words.

Making your girl feel like she’s queen of your world doesn’t require you to go out of your way or to rob the biggest bank in town. These simple things will do the trick in grand fashion. This time, the tears she cries will be tears of happiness and contentment — not tears of frustration and futility.

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Five First-Date Friendly Venues – For the Second Time Around

When you’re getting back together with your ex there’s a fine line that you must walk between doing things the old way and making a fresh start together. Sometimes it’s best to part with the old completely and go for something completely new and different. Something you’ve never done together before. If you’ve already tried some of these things, skip those in favor of making new memories together and avoiding possible stigmas or negative emotions tied to things you’ve tried in the past.

1) Roller-skating or ice-skating. Both activities are physical activities that can be a lot of fun, at any age, provided you both come into it with open minds and expecting to have a good time together. More importantly, it gives you the opportunity to hold hands, to talk, and to rediscover that “sense of fun” that flows out of relationships when times are tough.

2) Rodeo. Depending on where you are in the world, rodeos offer a chance to cheer for the underdog, to laugh at the antics of the clowns, and the rush of adrenaline that almost always accompanies danger or risk. All from the relative safety of bleacher seats. Besides, what girl doesn’t love ponies?

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3) Hot air balloon ride. Few options available to you are more romantic than a hot air balloon ride. It’s a great way to literally get above it all and see how small your problems really are from a bird’s-eye view.

4) Sailing, canoeing, or white water rafting. Unless you live in a desert climate, the odds are good that there is some venue for one of these activities nearby. Water can be romantic and fun. The time you spend together doing this is time you’re not likely to forget. It’s a great opportunity to spend time together, talk, or simple enjoy the ride — and the company.
5) Minor league sporting event. Skip the high price tag and huge crowds of the average major league sporting venue. Attending a minor league sporting event allows you both to cheer for the home team without breaking the bank. More importantly, the smaller crowds give you time to talk to each other a little before, during, and after the game. You get the benefit of watching favorite sports, such as hockey, baseball, football, and even soccer, without the downside of big league games.

Great dates don’t just happen. They’re made. It takes more than a great location though to make your first date – the second time around – truly stand out from the crowd. These venues are a great start, but it’s up to you to really make this date sparkle and shine. Be on your best behavior. Treat your date well. Avoid danger zones or hot topics. And remember to have fun and remind your ex why he or she fell in love with you in the first place.

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Three Ways to Really Get Your Husband’s Attention

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Getting his attention was once an easy thing to do. In the early days of your marriage, you seemed to have it all the time. There were even times when you secretly wished you could have a little less of it. Lately, however, things have changed and he seems more content to work in the garage, absorb himself in video games, or assume his position as king of the Lazy-boy with remote in hand than to pay attention to you. What went wrong? And, what can you do to get his attention all over again?
The good news for you, is that all relationships have their ups and downs. It’s a normal cycle. The better news, is that it’s not beyond your control to take the upper hand and make sure you have his attention now, and any other time when other issues seem to be horning in on your time with your husband.

1) Feed him. Debi Gutierrez is a very funny comedian who understands the male psyche pretty well. She believes there are only two things you can do to really get his attention and make him happy. Feeding him is one of those things. It doesn’t take much imagination to come up with the other. The thing is, it isn’t all about whether or not you offer him food. It’s about the kind of food you offer him. Men are lusty creatures. It shows in their appetite for you as well as their appetite for food. You can’t feed him the things that leave you feeling deprived for dinner and expect him to be happy with the results. Give him real food made for his appetites and see what a difference it makes in the attention he pays you.

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2) Compliment him. Pay him a compliment. Tell him how much the little things he does really mean to you. Let him know that you appreciate the way he takes care of you and your family. Tell him how much he means to you. Women are often credited with being the sentimental ones in relationships. You often forget that men need to hear these words of affirmation and appreciation just as much as you need to hear them. Not only does this set an amazing example for him to follow but it also lets him know how you really feel about the things he does for you and for your marriage.

3) Make yourself available to him. While we do not live in the day and age of wives submitting to their husbands in the literal sense, there is still something that touches a man above and beyond all else for you to make the first move. For you to be the one offering him what he wants from you. Make the first move. If it doesn’t get his attention at first, make your offer a little bolder. Most men do not need to be asked twice though.
Getting his attention is the easy part. Keeping it, despite all the distractions that impact relationships today is where the road gets a little rockier. Remember these tips whenever his attention starts to stray again and you’re sure to keep your marriage on the right path now and down the road.

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Great Date Night Movies for Romance

While movies are not always the perfect date night choice, sometimes, when life is hectic, the DVD player and take-out from your favorite restaurant hits the spot quite nicely. Of course, you have to have the right date night movies to set the proper tone. Rather than going out and getting the latest Redbox blockbuster, consider these old standards instead.

Dangerous Liaisons

What movie offers more for a date night movie fest. Seduction. Intrigue. Scandal. It’s all in there and more. The acting is superb. The film is engrossing. The time period is far removed from the every day. It’s a great escape film the two of you can enjoy together – time and time again if necessary.

Aliens

You’ll have a hard time finding a better date night movie than one that will have her literally jumping into your lap. This film has all that and more. Adrenaline is a standard while watching the film that is well acted and features characters that are engrossing to say the least. After the film is over you can have a lot of fun staying up all night together because, really, who can sleep after watching that?

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The Tourist

Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. Need anyone say more? This movie is filled with twists, turns, and misdirection. Once you know how the story ends, it’s worth going back and watching again to look for hints and clues. Great date night fun for a film that’s hard to grow tired of.

The Blindside

This one is a “bring the box of Kleenex” film. While the story itself isn’t sad, it is, at the very least poignant. This makes it a sure hit with ladies for date night and the combination of Sandra Bullock and football make it a great choice for the guys as well. The fact that it’s based on a true story makes it all the more touching and a great night to have her feeling emotional and romantic.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Another great Angelina Jolie flick, this one also stars Brad Pitt. The movie itself is action packed and full of not-so-passive aggression. If only all couples could work out their marital difficulties so easily. It certainly will help you both appreciate the normalcy of your lives together.

Date night will never be a complete and total dud if you load up your DVD with any one of these great date night movie. Just remember that the purpose of date night is to spend time together so choose movies you’re both likely to have at least some interest in watching.

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Will She Be Able to Forgive Me for Cheating?

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Cheating is a hard thing for the average woman to forgive. It’s not just the breaking of the marriage vows that is difficult for her to forgive. No matter what she says, there’s more to it than that.

Women are complicated creatures. There’s no denying that. Their reason for having such a difficult time forgiving affairs is surprisingly uncomplicated and straightforward. Your affair hits her where she hurts most – her confidence. It leaves her shaken, vulnerable, and insecure in your love for her and everything she believed to be true about your love for her.

The key is to overcome that shaken confidence. It’s only once you’re able to restore the lost confidence that she’ll be able to move on and finally forgive you for cheating.

Sound like a tall order?

You better believe it can be. But, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. In fact, quite the opposite is true. You can do a few little things each day that will, slowly but surely, restore her faith in you, your love, and your relationship.

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Where do you begin?

Start with simple words affirming your love for her. Tell her as often as she’ll hear it. Don’t beg. Don’t berate. Don’t offer excuses. Simply let her know she is loved by you.

Show her how you really feel. Small gestures often matter most. Write her little love notes. Serve breakfast in bed. Give her a night (or morning) off by taking over her typical duties for that night and morning. Start a weekly date night and do something bigger, better, and more than dinner and a movie.

Make her a priority in your life. You lead a busy life. You’re often busy providing for your family. You think you’re doing the right thing. Then, one day, you discover that your family feels like you’ve abandoned them. You’re hurt. They’re hurt. Everyone’s hurt. Take time to appreciate what you nave now rather than using it up preparing for a future that’s so uncertain.

If you haven’t already, end the affair. There’s no future for your marriage and no forgiveness that is going to come as long as the affair continues. End it. Then focus your full, undivided attention on repairing your marriage once and for all.

These little things might not seem like a big deal. They don’t involve pricy purchases, expensive gifts, or hours of endless (and mostly useless) groveling. They’re as straightforward and shockingly effective for gaining her forgiveness.

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How Can I Make Her Love Me Again?

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Believe it or not, most women don’t leave their men because they’ve stopped loving them. They don’t pull away because you’re not attractive to her anymore. Most of the time, it’s not usually anything you’ve done that’s pushed her away. Believe it or not, there’s an old country song that has it right – for the most part. It’s not what you did. It’s all those things you didn’t do.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s all your fault!

I’m a firm believer that it takes two to tango. She never spoke up and told you what she needed from you. But, really, how often do you tell her what you need her to do for you?

While the song may be a few decades old by now, there is wisdom in those old lyrics. If you’re trying to make your relationship work and put a little bit of the love back in it, then you need to remember all the things he forgot.

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Tell Her You Love Her

Don’t take it for granted that she knows. Tell her. Show her. Shout it out from the rooftops, but make sure she knows, without a doubt, that you only have eyes for her.

Listen to What She has to Say

This one is hard. Men and women often live in different worlds when it comes to language. She starts talking and sometimes your eyes just glaze over with this faraway look. She notices this and it hurts. You’re going to have to really listen, like the man in the Klondike commercial. It will impress her and make her feel like she really is important to you.

Make Time for Her

But don’t make her feel like it’s a sacrifice. You really should want to do things together once in a great while. Weekly date nights are a small thing, but when done right, they can mean so much for the romance and love in your relationship. It’s one night a week that lets her know she’s still the woman you love.

Let Her Know She Still Rocks Your World

Tell her how beautiful she is. No matter how many times she dismisses it, she secretly loves to hear you say it. She wants to know that she still turns you on and that you’re not turning to her because she’s available. She wants to know that your fires are still burning bright for her just as much as you want to know that she still digs you too.

You don’t have to go to charm school. You don’t have to step outside of your league, get a second job, or lose 100 pounds to get her to love you again. All you really need to do is let her know that you’re still the man she fell for so long ago.

The Secret you need to know to get your lover back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless!

If you’ll take my hand, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

How Do I Forgive My Husband for Cheating?

This is a question that woman have been asking themselves for centuries. It’s only in recent decades that divorce has really been an option for women whether their husbands cheated or not. While it’s hard to believe in silver linings right now, the bright and shining one for you is that marriages survive cheating spouses all the time.

When you look at the number of relationships with cheating partners, the numbers are truly staggering. Statisticbrain.com says that 41 percent of marriages have one or both spouses admitting to infidelity (emotional or physical). The really shocking news though is that, for perhaps the first time in history, men and women are cheating on almost an equal scale. Fifty-seven percent of men admit to cheating in any relationship they’ve had and 54 percent of women admit to cheating.

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While the numbers aren’t completely promising, 31 percent of marriages survive (and last) after the affair has been discovered. When you consider that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, those numbers are a little more promising. But, how does this help you find forgiveness for the man who broke the vows you made together?

Allow Yourself Time to Process the Blow

This isn’t a light confession like drinking milk out of the carton or forgetting to take the garbage to the road on trash pickup day. This is a big deal. You need to allow yourself the time, and space, you need to really process what has happened, how you feel about what has happened, and what YOU want to happen next.

Don’t allow yourself to be bullied, cajoled, pushed, or drug into a situation you’re not emotionally prepared to dive into. It’s too much and could put you into meltdown mode where you withdraw from everything and everyone. That’s not good for anyone or your marriage.

Be Selfish for a Little While

There’s nothing wrong with watching him work his way back into your good graces. While it’s not cool to allow him to keep trying to win you over if you know you’re going to leave, there’s nothing wrong with dragging it out a little bit to watch him pay some sort of penance. It won’t make up for the pain. It certainly won’t take the pain away. But there is some sort of sadistic pleasure you can derive from it, and well the Universe owes you a small dark moment or two in wake of a blow like this.

Forgive Yourself First

Women have been taught to blame themselves when their men stray. Even in the so-called enlightened world we live in today, other women, prominent clergy, and countless politicians drive home the idea that the woman is the one at fault when men stray. Stop swimming in blame and guilt over actions that weren’t your own. You can’t own his actions any more than he can own yours. He did the cheating. But once you forgive yourself for his cheating, you’ll find that it’s much easier to forgive him for doing the cheating.

The path to forgiveness in infidelity is one of the most painful and surprising paths to walk. When you follow these steps, you’ll find that it’s easier to walk (though by no means easy) than you would have ever thought possible otherwise.

Is It Really My Fault He Cheated?

If you’ve watched the news lately you’ve probably noticed that there’s been quite a stir over who is at fault when men cheat. A prominent televangelist has suggested that part of the responsibility should be placed on the shoulder of the woman for not making the effort to overcome genetic predispositions.

While the “men are dogs” argument doesn’t fly in all corners of the Web-o-verse, it’s probably a good idea to sit back and speculate over whether there could be some truth in the idea.

Now, I’m not advocating that men cheat or that women blindly forgive men who cheat. I’m not even saying that it’s a woman’s fault her man cheats. I am not even saying that the most diligent efforts by women will prevent cheating completely.

I can definitely say that doing these two things will definitely help keep his attention focused firmly on you and make other woman almost invisible to him. Want to know what they are?

Get His Engine Running

Slip a reason for him to come home at night into his briefcase or lunchbox each day as he sets off for work. Whether it’s a snapshot, a steamy love note, or just a code word you make up together, give him a reason to come racing home after he punches out at work for the day.

And then?

Live up to the promise you made in the morning. No matter how many things happen during your day to drag you down, you MUST make good on that promise so that he’ll know what he’s likely to get each and every time you drop one of your lunchbox/briefcase hints.

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Show Him Your Adoration

Among men who cheat, the overwhelming reason why has nothing to do with the physical appearance of the other woman. In fact, most men who cheat have said they do not find the other woman more attractive than their wives. She’s not thinner, leggier, bustier, and she doesn’t have a bigger butt (sorry Mix-A-Lot).

It’s not about looks at all. The real reason men cheat on their wives, and can’t really help themselves, despite the risks it involves has to do with one thing. She makes him feel adored, flattered, admired, and respected. She doesn’t roll her eyes at his corny jokes. She clings to his arms and laughs. She makes the first move. She shows interest. She goes after him and makes him feel like THE MAN. And THAT is his Kryptonite.

How do you beat this?

It may seem like a tall order, but if you work really hard and think back to the early days when you dated, you should remember all the things you used to tell him that you don’t tell him today. You brought out the best in him by showing him that you believed he was the best and he wants that feeling back. He’s trying to recapture that when he cheats. Give him that feeling at home – and give it to him often – and he’ll never have a single reason to stray.

These two things don’t require six spinning classes a day. They don’t require a second job. And, they don’t involve major personality changes. Most of these things are the sorts of things you did when you were first together and in love. Put them to work today and never worry about a cheating husband again. Is it your fault he cheated? No, but you CAN make a difference going forward.