Monthly Archives: May 2013

Rekindle the Love

Rekindle may not be the best of words since love doesn’t disappear. It just gets pushed to the back burner as other problems become the focus of your lives. However, the most valuable lesson you can learn is that if you give love with no obligation and without expecting anything in return it will be returned to you tenfold.

While communication does form an important part of putting your problems behind you and working on solutions for the future, it’s also vitally important to learn what each other needs in order to feel loved by you.

 Rekindle the Love

This could be something as simple as learning to listen when one of you wants to talk, or spending time together laughing at silly movies, or it could be always remembering to hug each other before leaving. It makes no difference how big or how small the gesture, everyone has something they would appreciate you did for them to show them you care.

If you and your ex have only just started seeing each other once again, be sure to take things slowly. Don’t arrange to see each other every single day, but try for perhaps a couple of times a week. This gives you both a chance to miss each other during the days when you don’t speak, but it also creates a sense of anticipation for the next date.

Plan fun dates together that highlight the enjoyment you get out of each others company. These don’t have to be expensive outings. You might decide to stay in and watch a fun movie, or take a walk along the beach, or meet up with friends. Do whatever feels fun and natural so you both begin to remember the good times more often than the bad.

Make sure you keep the deep and meaningful stuff to a minimum at this point. After all, you want to build a long term relationship based on mutual love, trust and respect here, but it’s also important to remind each other of how much you enjoy each others company.

The difficulty with this phase of getting your ex back is the temptation to call them all the time to check who else they’re with or what they’re doing when they’re not with you. Men and women can often find this kind of constant calling and jealous questioning to be a sign of desperation or mistrust. These signs can often make your ex believe it’s just too difficult to pursue you any longer and back away again.

Learn to trust that your ex is still easing slowly back into the relationship, so be sure to extend a little faith that you’re the person your ex really wants to be with and allow each other a bit of space between dates.

As time passes, your ex should realize that you really are the person of his or her dreams. You’ll notice contact becoming more regular and dates becoming more frequent. When you notice this happening, you’ll know your ex is back.
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Communication – You Must Communicate

The first step to rebuilding a relationship is to communicate and tell each other what you have been holding back. You have to share everything with each other both the bad and the good, and this is not something you do just once.

Communication is what will keep your love alive and investing in your relationship will make it thrive. Even ten minutes per day of quality time with your partner where you just talk about how you both feel can do wonders to rebuild the passion and to keep it alive.

You will both have to break through your fears and limiting beliefs so that you can move forward. Stop relying on anger as a means to satisfy deep emotional needs and replace it with love. If you feel you can’t do this then just close your eyes and imagine your life without that person. What is more painful? Being without them or being wrong? If the answer is the former then realize that your negative responses will only serve to create greater pain by pushing them away from you again.

Communication – You Must Communicate

If you have a deep pain that you don’t even realize affects your actions you need to open up to your partner, to allow them to help you through it with their love and support. Explain to them what you need from them, that you need them to be there for you and demand the same of them. Tell them you need them to be open and honest with you so you can both move forward to a life of total bliss in a relationship based on complete and total trust that is full of love and support.

Rebuilding a relationship requires commitment and you both need to realize that a relationship is essential to your happiness as there is nothing more wonderful that sharing deeply with another person. Nothing that is worth anything in life can be obtained without complete commitment and this also holds true for relationships.

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Getting Back Together – Phase II

You may find that your partner calls you first and in this case try and act pleased to hear them, not angry or desperate. You should avoid pushing them into a situation where they have no choice or attempting to make them feel guilty as this will ruin any chance of you getting back together.

If they do call, this is an excellent opportunity to propose that you meet, preferably over dinner, so you can discuss matters further. Or you can adopt another strategy that may give you a little more time and that is to say that maybe they were right and you both need some breathing space but that you would like to remain friends. This will give you time to start rebuilding the relationship from the foundation up.

So, if you are at the stage where you have both agreed to be just friends for now you can use this opportunity to create a stronger bond between the two of you. It is the perfect time to find out how they want their needs to be fulfilled. In essence you need to rebuild trust so that they can have their need for certainty satisfied which you probably need as well.

 Getting Back Together – Phase II

Rebuilding trust is a two way street and you must both accept your share of the problem as well as forgiving each other. Even if it seems that only one side is to blame, often the actions of one person can be in reaction to some things the other person did or didn’t do.

For example, you may have grown distant because you didn’t feel loved or that you came first to your partner but he or she doesn’t know this because of lack of communication. You both need to be honest with each other.

If you want trust you also must give trust, in other words do what you would like done unto you so you have to be willing to take the first step and have faith in both your partner and the relationship.
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Getting Back Together – Phase I

There are a lot of ideas out there on how to get back together with your ex, which can be useful but it all depends on what you want. If you just want them back for the sake of it then you can use reverse psychology techniques and similar strategies but be aware that these are unlikely to help you recreate a meaningful relationship that can stand the test of time.

On the other hand if you truly love your partner and know they love you too then you have to invest a little more time and emotion into the whole process. In this article we will look at some techniques that may be useful in the short term to get you back together and subsequently we shall explore how you should strengthen the relationship to rekindle lost love and passion.

The most prevalent advice you will find is that you should not initiate any form of contact with your ex for a minimum of three weeks with the reasoning that this is when loneliness spikes and they will be more open to you as suddenly they begin to realize what it is like to be without you.

Getting Back Together – Phase I

However, this tactic can also backfire as your partner may feel you are not interested and that is why you are not calling. This is where insight into the breakup become invaluable as it will help you determine whether your partner leaving was because they didn’t want to be with you or whether it was their way of showing you that you aren’t meeting their needs. Some people withdraw in the hopes that their partner will pursue them as they need to feel secure about how much they are loved.

You may have also heard that a good strategy is to make your ex jealous by going out with other people as this will instill in them the fear of losing you completely. This is also a tactic that can easily backfire and destroy all shreds of trust left between the two of you because it will appear to your partner that they cannot depend on you at all. Most people want to feel they can rely on their partners completely, especially when times are hard so if you go running off to date someone else in an attempt to make them jealous, your actions may be perceived as running away from a difficult situation.

There is a way around this and that is to go out with your friends, which will also help you calm down as it can be extremely difficult to analyze the situation if you can’t get past the pain. You need to move on from the point of blame as it won’t help the relationship if you are only focused on playing the blame game. You need to uncover the problem to be able to create a solution as you are probably both to blame or you wouldn’t want them back. It does take two to tango after all.
Ps. It takes time and tactic to get your ex back but its worth it when love is what you feel, here you have advice from the man that has helped over 50 000 people from 77 countries to make up instead of break up.
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Realizing Your Ex Is Gone

The sad truth about all people is that we never fully comprehend or appreciate what we have until we lose it and this is also true of relationships. We tend to take the beautiful moments for granted and only focus on the bad times, usually escalating arguments into fighting matches that leaves both parties involved with terrible wounds.

If you have already gone past that stage and your partner has decided to end the relationship you may be in a state of total shock because you maybe never even saw it coming.

The first stage is total and complete denial, you can’t believe this is happening, it’s not real, they will be back, it’s only a heat of the moment decision, are all thoughts that are running around in your head.

Then you start finding it difficult to breathe as you realize that it actually did happen and they are gone. You feel as if someone is ripping the heart out of your chest and the pain is unbearable. You don’t want to face the world and you feel there is nothing that will ever make you feel better. You shut yourself off from the world for days on end, still hoping that maybe if you go sleep when you wake up you will find it was a nightmare.

Unfortunately, when you wake up nothing has changed and your love is still gone. Now you have to try and pull yourself together as much as you can because you have to get to work and you can’t look like a complete mess. You go through your day in a completely catatonic state, unable to pay attention to anything.

You start to hate people who tell you there’s plenty of other fish in the sea – because you know you only want THAT fish.

After a while, you realize you can’t live without your ex.

Realizing Your Ex Is Gone

Everywhere you go, everything you see reminds you of the love you once shared and it is eating you up inside. From the couch where you used to cuddle to watch a movie, to your favorite restaurant where you laughed together over a plate of pasta, to the park bench where you used to sit together and watch the people walk by.

That is the moment you decide that you want your ex back, but not just any way. Where possible, you want to rekindle the love that was the foundation of such a beautiful relationship.

However, you must be careful as you start to rekindle your relationship with your ex. To much too soon and you will drive him further away. In the next few series of articles you will begin to see the steps that you must take.
Ps. Dont give up because there is always hope even in a breakup, there is a helpful Free Video here and also a lot of tips and a proven method to get the love you deserve back into your life.

Contacting Your Ex

The biggest problem most people dealing with break ups face is trying to figure out why their ex won’t speak to them about what went wrong. Most people’s first instinct is to call or send a text message to ask what happened or to try and plead with their ex to reconsider.

Each time you do contact your ex, you’re subtly telling him that you’re not capable of existing without him. While this might sound romantic and noble in a Hollywood film, in reality you’re sending your ex a sure sign of your insecurity and high dependence.

Think back once again to when you first met. You would have been happy and fun to be around. You would have been quite happy to do things for yourself in your own life, deal with your own things and generally be independent.

Contacting Your Ex

Now consider all those desperate pleas to get back together, crying and swearing your undying love for your ex.

Your ex will be seeing someone completely different sitting there than the person he fell in love with, so the more you call or text or email, the less likely it is that he’ll want to talk.

Stop contacting him at once.

Spend some time reconnecting to the person you used to be. Build up your own self-esteem once again and start going out with friends to take your mind off things. Such simple advice is almost never taken seriously by someone who is so desperately wanting to keep in contact with their ex, afraid that if they don’t speak to him, he might meet someone else.

Unfortunately, it’s good advice. Give your ex some time to miss you. Give him a little space to make him understand what he’s lost and what life is like when you’re not around. You don’t have to wait weeks and weeks. Just give him a little time to see what it’s like being apart.

When you’re feeling a little happier about who you are and what you really want, only then give him a call and suggest you meet for a friendly chat. Meet somewhere public and make sure it’s relaxed. Have plenty of casual, light-hearted topics planned for conversation and avoid talking about the relationship. You want your ex to see that you’re capable of taking responsibility for your own happiness and not completely dependent on him to provide it for you.

When he does see the original happy, bubbly person he fell in love with sitting there opposite him instead of the crying, upset, miserable person he didn’t know how to help, he’ll begin to realize that he did miss you after all.
Ps. Consider this helpful guide to take the next step in getting your ex back in your life.
>The Magic Second Chance Letter<

Look Within To Win Your Ex Back

Are you the same person he or she fell in love with? This is a difficult question to answer but if you are honest with yourself you will be able to do it pretty effectively.

Think about the last few times you were together. Were you the same loving, fun person your ex fell in love with? Did you spend time together enjoying each other’s company? Or were your last few meetings filled with tears, jealousy, disagreements and arguments?Perhaps you’re one of the unlucky ones who thought everything was going along just fine, when your partner broke it off unexpectedly. No matter what the cause, there are always reasons behind the actions, even when they’re not immediately evident.

Look Within To Win Your Ex Back

Life has a tendency to change us and drag us down if we don’t fight against the current of depression that seems to be so fashionable nowadays. The problem with depression is that it’s a vicious cycle. When we are depressed we turn on everyone, especially anyone who dares take us out of this state, and then we feel bad for acting the way we did so we sink even deeper into this state of depression.

So, ask yourself this, did you let life drag you down so much that you forgot about what is truly important in life? Did you allow financial worries to eat away at you so much that you couldn’t see how you were treating your partner?

Perhaps your own situation was more related to how everyone changes a little when they fall in love. After all, before you both met, you were independent, happy people, going about your own lives. Once you got into a relationship together, you both became a little dependent on the other to provide happiness, pleasure, security and comfort. This can become a problem if the part of you your ex fell in love with was your independence.

So, how much have you changed since you first met your ex? Do you like the person you have become? Were you a carefree, fun person with an insatiable love of life and now you have become someone who gets irritated at the drop of a hat?

If the changes in you are so vast you barely recognize yourself and you definitely don’t like who you have become then maybe it’s time you started doing something about it. After all, if you don’t like yourself this way, don’t you think that it will also have an impact on how your partner feels too?

If you are serious about getting your ex back then you have to be honest with yourself here. Stare at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself: Who have I become? If you don’t like the answer then it’s time to think about who you really are if you want to get your ex back and build a lasting relationship together.

The only way to rebuild your relationship is to first create lasting change within yourself. Work on building up your self-esteem and your self-opinion. Regain your old confidence and see if the happy, bubbly version of you is still in there. Otherwise you will just end up in the same old cycle that got you in this situation in the first place.
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What Do You Want When You Get Your Ex Back

Clearly you want your ex back if you are reading this article. However, what we need to look at is why. Are you absolutely sure it is because you love them? Or could it be because you are afraid of being alone?

After being in a relationship for a while everyone becomes dependent, to a degree, on their partner. This emotional attachment or dependence is what keeps relationships together when sometimes they should have long been over. So you need to look inside yourself and objectively analyze why youwant this person back.

Is it really love or is it pride that they were the one to end things before you? This can be a difficult question to answer. But if you close your eyes an visualize your life in 15 or 20 years and your partner is not there, how do you feel? If your reaction is a gut-wrenching pain then it could very well be love. However, if your answer is that you either can’t visualize or your feelings are rather vague then forget about your pride and move on.

What Do You Want When You Get Your Ex Back

Since we all do things to either avoid pain or gain pleasure the question you need to ask yourself is two questions:

Do you link pleasure with their presence?

Do you link pain with their absence?

You may think they are both the same things but there’s quite a large distinction between the two.

If you are focusing more on the pleasure that results from their presence, then you truly do want them in your life as a person and a partner. However if you are focusing on the pain of their absence and how miserable you’ll feel if you’re alone, this may be purely because everyone needs a connection and what is really hurting you is being alone, not necessarily being without the other person.

You have to ask yourself whether you are afraid of going out into the big world alone because you have been so used to being part of a couple. Your pain may be linked to a fear of starting out again and connecting with other people.

However, if your painful feelings are linked to being without your partner and you feel without a doubt, after a little introspection, that you can’t live without them, then you need to understand what went wrong so you know what needs to be fixed.

Do not expect it to be an easy journey because everything in life requires commitment. You may discover things about yourself that are painful, but if you truly wish to change and rekindle your lost love then you need to stay the course.
Ps.The way to stay the course and get your ex back is the magic second chance letter which is within The Magic of Making Up Course.<Free Video here>

Is It Possible to Get Your Ex Back?

Couples break up and decide to get back together every day.

Sometimes break ups happen for reasons that seem strange to us. Other times, small things may have gotten in the way of the bigger relationship picture.

It”s important to consider the reasons why you broke up before you begin looking at the ways to rekindle love.

Is It Possible to Get Your Ex Back?

Many people begin to blame themselves, thinking they’ve done something wrong to ruin the relationship. They go through every conversation and action, wondering what it was that made your partner suddenly decide he or she didn’t want to be with you any longer.

When this kind of self-blame happens, it can destroy your confidence levels and make things even more difficult to deal with.

Perhaps the biggest consideration you need to work through is why you want your partner back. Of course you miss being with your partner, but think carefully about the relationship you had.

Was it really that good, or were there parts about your lover you overlooked because you were in love? Did you have enough in common to create a lasting bond that would develop into a long term relationship? Did one or the other of you do something to break the trust between you?

Once you’ve answered these questions, it’s time to tackle some ways to help you get your ex back.

However, before you decide to attack the matter like a regular commando, with your war paint on and screaming “I will get you back if I have to walk to hell and back”, you need to do a little soul searching and a little objective analysis or you may ruin it all again.

You see, your ex is already thinking that things didn’t work between you. Even if you do manage to get him to give things another try, what will make him believe anything will be any different the second time around?

Are you both going to fall back into old patterns that ended the relationship in the first place?

Or are you prepared to build a solid foundation of love and trust so that the second time around is the one that lasts a lifetime?

Ps. Its so true that you have to be sure of your own intentions while getting your ex back, it has to be true love and only love; not depending or relaying on your ex to much to see clearly. Read more about how to make up instead of breakup or how to handle a breakup the best way…

Rebuilding Trust With Your Ex

Regardless of how you may feel about your ex, you know that the most important thing is to do what is best for your children. They deserve to have a relationship with their father, no matter how you might feel about him right now.

Communication is key and you will both have to work at rebuilding trust between you to be able to do what is best for the children and make logical decisions based on the facts and not on emotions, as co-parenting means that you will have to make certain decisions together. In other words, when deciding what school to send your children to, for example, dont disagree with his suggestion just because he made it, disagree with him if you have good reason to, not just for the sake of it.

The sad thing is that many people ruin their relationship with their children due to petty and spiteful things they do just to get back at their ex. You may think that you have won a victory but have you really? Or are you just being spiteful and forgetting to look at the bigger picture and who else may be affected by you hanging on to your resentment.

Rebuilding Trust With Your Ex

On the other hand if he has never taken an interest in the kids and doesn’t want to know, you can throw this guide out. Do remember that talking ill of their father to the children will only make them feel insecure about themselves. They will end up believing they did something to warrant this reaction from their father so try to keep that in mind when talking to them.

Here are some tips to help you rebuild trust with your ex and smooth the path to a healthy relationship with him and your children.


Consistency is very important and can make or break your attempts. Being consistent means keeping your word when you promise to take the kids to see him, for example. If you break your promise out of spite, just to try and hurt him, you will end up hurting the children more, and your relationship with them. They will end up not trusting anything you say to them in future and will begin to see you as the person trying to keep them away from their dad. This will also happen if you speak badly of your ex in front of the children.

The worst thing you can do is to be disrespectful of him or to criticize him to your children. Remember he is their father and you will end up alienating the children if every other word out of your mouth is against him.

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