Monthly Archives: March 2013

Relationship Breakups – How To Stay Friends

Relationship breakups don’t always mean that the person you’re breaking up with needs to be cut completely out of your life. Many people continue to have warm and satisfying friendships with their exes by making sure that their relationship breakups are done without hurting anyone more than necessary.

There are situations where you know that you don’t really want that person to continue to be in your life. Maybe things that happened during the relationship are just too painful. You feel like you can’t forgive him or her for what they did.

You might be surprised later on once the initial hurt has passed at how differently you feel. While the chances that you would want to get back together with that person are slim, you might discover you really miss having him or her in your life.

This is never more true than when your ex was your friend first. When you had a great friendship and that lead to a romantic relationship, relationship breakups don’t just end the romance, but now you’ve lost that great friendship, too.

It doesn’t have to be that way, though, if the other person wants to keep you in his or her life, too. The only way to find this out is to have a conversation about it. You might be in for a pleasant surprise to discover that your ex still wants to be friends, too.

If you talk to your boyfriend, though, and he has an attitude or is angry and doesn’t want to continue a friendship, then accept it but don’t burn any bridges. Don’t go out with an attitude or become insulting.

There’s always the chance that he can’t see past the hurt and anger he’s feeling, and could change his mind later. But if you throw a few parting shots to make the pain and hurt even worse, you might be sabotaging your chances of having this person as a friend later.

Relationship breakups are never easy, and it’s not necessarily easy to stay friends afterwards. This is true even if you were best friends before you began the romantic relationship. When you’re in a romance with someone, that person knows intimate details about you and your life.

And after a breakup, some people might see those tidbits of information as weapons. It’s very easy to insult someone in a way that you know will really hurt them when you’re hurting, too. The desire to lash out or to protect yourself by striking the first verbal blow is a natural emotional response.

No one knows the little details that can wound you quite as deeply as someone you’ve been in a relationship with. If your ex uses these little things to hurt you, try to keep it in perspective. Yes, it’s painful, but he’s coming from a place of anger, too.

Don’t fight back like that. Take the high road, and be respectful. Even if your relationship breakups don’t end in you remaining friends, you’ll feel better for not making the situation even worse.

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Surviving A Breakup – Write It Down

Right after a relationship ends, surviving a breakup might seem an impossible task. It hurts so much, and it’s easy to think that you’ll never feel happy again. It’s also easy to think that you might never find someone else. A good step to take when surviving a breakup is to start writing all these feelings down.

Journaling is something that millions of people do every day for a variety of reasons. Some people have kept diaries since they were children. At first they simply wrote down the important things that happened that day. Many children’s diaries are just filled with little lists about what they did all day.

As people get older, their journals and diaries tend to become more introspective. They write about an event and how it made them feel or what they thought it meant. Sometimes they write about how they think a certain event might affect them in the future.

Journaling or keeping a diary can help with surviving a breakup by giving you an outlet to express yourself. You can write things down that you might be uncomfortable saying to someone else. Embarrassing things or things that really upset you so much that you don’t really want to tell anyone can be “told” to your diary.

Many people never start journaling because they don’t think they know how. But there really is no special way to do it. You don’t have to have a special diary or journal to begin. You can write in a regular notebook or keep a file on your computer for your thoughts.

But you can purchase a special book to write in if you want. It can be as casual or as formal as you choose. If it makes you happy, purchase a special journal with a pretty cover and fine paper inside. If not, grab a spiral notebook or open that file in your word processor and start a journal.

As you’re surviving a breakup, when you feel especially sad write about why you think that is and what you think you can do about it. When you’re missing your ex, write about it. It’s okay to cry or feel upset while writing. In fact, it’s good to do so. You’re getting it out.

You don’t have to write in your journal every day. You don’t have to start every entry “Dear Diary” or do it in any specific way. You might scrawl down one sentence, “I hate this!” and three days later write 5 pages of things you won’t miss about your ex and why you’re glad it’s over. All of these are good for you.

Another way to use writing to help get over a relationship is to write a letter to your ex. Write down everything you want to say to him or her, good and bad, and be brutally honest. Now that you’ve purged yourself, throw the letter away.

Surviving a breakup can be made easier by writing down and dealing with your feelings, so give it a try.

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