Is Your Passive Aggressive Nature a Relationship Killer?

First of all, it’s important to understand that relationship breakups are rarely the fault of one person or the other. It’s generally some combination of the two. You don’t go from love to hate on the turn of a dime. Nor do you fall out of love completely over one argument, no matter how passionate the fight may be.
If there is one thing, though, that drives partners insane, it’s trying to have a productive argument with someone who is passive aggressive. The purpose of arguments is to sort out problems and solve them. Arguments, in relationships, are often necessary for getting feelings out on the table and making progress. When you don’t participate in the fight, progress cannot be made.

relationships-dont-always-make-sense-especially-from-the-outside-sarah-dessen

The other problem with passive aggression is that it sends a signal to your partner that he or she is not worth fighting for. It says that you’re unwilling to fight to save the relationship. That may not be your intention. In fact, the intention is likely your desire to avoid uncomfortable or confrontational experiences. These are a few of the reasons why passive aggressiveness is widely known to do more harm than good for relationships.

Inhibits Communication

It’s difficult to talk to someone who has checked out of the conversation. Not only are you not letting your partner know how you feel, but you’re also preventing your partner from clearing the air about how he or she feels. How can you meet your partner’s needs and be there for your partner if you’re holding up a huge blinking neon “Hands Off” sign?

Involves Burying Feelings

The other things passive aggressive arguments do is bury your own feelings. You’re not telling your partner how you feel and yet holding that person responsible for not taking care of your feelings. It’s a lose-lose situation where neither of you is truly happy together and no one is really able to have a productive discussion about why you are both unhappy.
In the end, it breeds resentment on both sides of the relationship. Does this mean the breakup was all your fault? Not at all. What it does mean, is that you’re going to have to make real changes if you want to get your ex back and make it work for you both this time around. It also means you might need a little extra assistance in your efforts to get your ex back. I can help you with that.

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless!

If you’ll take my hand, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to get your ex back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!

Can You Buy Your Lover Back?

Have you ever resorted to expensive gifts to make up for major misdeeds in the course of your relationship? Many men offer costly gifts to the women they love in hopes of smoothing things over and making it right. It may have started out with flowers and chocolates. Over time, the practice escalated to expensive jewelry, cars, homes, and vacations. The bigger the misdeed, the bigger the buyoff.
Unfortunately, this practice often does more harm for the relationship than good. The relationship becomes a series of highs and lows with each one attempting to outdo the other. Eventually, you’re either out of money or in debt so big that even more problems are being created. All the while, nothing is getting solved. It’s just being temporarily swept underneath the discarded ribbons, bows, and tissue paper.
Lover

Lover

Here are a few questions to help you get a handle on your gift buying tendencies whenever relationship problems arise.

How Much Will it Really Cost to Buy Your Lover Back?

The costs are not always measured in dollars and cents. Men, especially, will gladly pay the price in dollars to avoid the emotional confrontation required to deal with the real, underlying problem in the relationship. Buying gifts provides a quick, albeit temporary, fix for a problem they don’t really want to face. The thing is, the problem is still there the next time mistakes are made and the price tag for avoidance keeps getting bigger and bigger every single time.

How Much Have You Spent Already to get Your Lover Back ?

The other point to consider is this. How much money have you already spent trying to delay the inevitable? The longer you attempt to put it off, the harder it’s going to be to deal with when the time comes. It’s kind of like an onion. The core problem is still there. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to go in and peel each individual layer, uncovering new problems and hurt feelings along the way, to get to the heart of the matter when the time does arrive to fix the problem or walk away. That money could solve many problems you’re having and would have likely been much better spent building your future together rather than covering up the “sins of the past.”
How much can you really afford to spend? This is the final question for many men in your shoes. There’s never really enough, is there? Love is something that can’t be bought. Forgiveness can’t really be purchased either. Women may joke about it, but the truth is they’d rather fix the problems and save the relationship the old-fashioned way than through gifts and bribes. She’s MUCH rather receive gifts from you as tokens of love from you instead of buyoffs for her affections.

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless!

If you’ll take my hand, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to get your lover back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!

Is it Really Wise to Dive Back Into a Relationship with Your Ex?

The idea of getting back together with your ex probably seems like the perfect solution to your present state of heart and mind.

The breakup is the root of all your problems and your pain at the moment. You believe that making up will be the perfect answer. It might even solve some of your problems by relieving your pain to the point where you can think clearly. However, if you had waited that long before making up, what would those clearer thoughts have revealed about the breakup to begin with? Is getting back together with your ex really in your best interest? Consider these questions to help you decide.

Dating

Have You Grown from the Experience?

Not just the breakup. Have you grown from the relationship? How has loving your ex changed you for the better? For worse? Where do you want to go, on a personal level, from here? Is it somewhere your ex will be able to go with you? How have your dreams and plans for the future changed as a result of your relationship with your ex? Do you still have dreams you’re working to achieve? Or, have you given them all up for the sake of practicality and expedience? What have you accomplished since becoming involved with your ex? Do you feel like you’re a better person because you knew your ex?
Your ex

Your ex

Are Your Prepared to Put the Past Behind You?

The problems in your relationship don’t go away just because you broke up and got back together. Wouldn’t it be nice if it did work that way though! The truth is that the old baggage is waiting at the same door one of you stomped out of when the you-know-what hit the fan. If you don’t resolve the issues that tore the two of you apart to begin with, they’re going to cause problems again unless you’ve decided that you can really put them behind the two of you and move forward.

What Kinds of Changes are You Willing to Make to Make it Work?

Lasting relationships require work. It’s as simple as that. You can’t share a home and lead two separate lives. You can’t go your separate ways and meet up when things are lonely or a little less hectic. You have to make time for each other and you have to do things together. More importantly, though, for the sake of saving your relationship, you both have to change in ways that bring you together rather than divide you.
If you’re not willing to put the past behind you, make necessary changes, and aren’t sure you’ve really grown from your time together, then why on earth are you fighting like mad to save the relationship? If you have positive answers to all these questions, then you’ll need to follow a well-conceived plan of attack to get your ex to pay attention and really give you, and your relationship, a second chance.

The Secret you need to know to forgive and get your lover back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again from their heart break!

Having Trouble Getting Your Ex Back? Try This Instead

Wise people say that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. So many people, in the aftermath of an unexpected and/or unwanted breakup, find themselves falling into patterns of insanity while trying to get their exes back.

 Your Ex Back? It’s quite common.

Your heart is screaming so loud that it drowns out the things your brain is trying to tell you. The one thing your heart knows for sure is that it wants to stop HURTING.
Ex Factor Banner #2
It knows that the breakup is the source of the pain and it wants to fix it. NOW! The thing is, your heart says crazy things, such as: apologize, beg, and bargain. These are the things that will do far more to harm your cause than to see it through.
Instead of repeating all the things that aren’t working, let’s try a different tactic this time around. Let’s go for different results. Here’s what you need to do instead.

 Your Ex Back? Agree with Your Ex

Want to stop an argument dead in its tracks? Agree with the arguer. First of all, it’s a shocking experience. There have probably been many times in the course of your relationship together that you’ve continued an argument you’d known you were losing just because you weren’t ready to admit defeat. We’ve all done it.
Your ex back

Your ex back

Stopping the argument is one thing. It’s a grudging acceptance, but one your ex can mentally process. However, AGREEING with your ex is a new tactic that will leave your ex reeling.
More importantly, it will leave your ex thinking of you in an intrigued and perplexed way. Your ex thinks he or she already knows what’s coming next. Agreeing throws them off balance and reveals that you do, in fact, still have a few tricks up your sleeve.

 Your Ex Back? Stop Trying so Hard

I’m not advocating giving up. I’m not even telling you that you shouldn’t try to get your ex back. I’m telling you stop working so HARD. You need to work SMARTER; not harder. The direct approach isn’t going to work in the days and short weeks following your breakup. You’re going to need to do your best work behind the scenes if you really want to get your ex’s attention.
Begin with what you know about your ex. How did you win his or her heart in the first place? What is it about you that your ex has claimed to love the most? Identify that. Understand it and save it for later.

Dating

Next you need to identify where the problems started. Was there a specific event, argument, or misunderstanding that began a downward spiral for your relationship? What could you do now that would tip the scales once again in your favor? Now is the time for thinking and not the time for action.
Do you need help coming up with the exact plan of action or working out the timing of putting your plan into motion? More importantly, do you have a plan for what comes next? Once you get your ex back, you need to know what it’s going to take to keep your relationship on a more even path in the future. Let me help you with that and so much more.

3 Things You Should Tell Your Husband Often

Your husband is probably not much of a talker.

Most men aren’t. It’s the one common complaint women have about them. They don’t talk about how they feel. Sometimes, women take that to mean they have a different emotional depth than women do. The truth of the matter is that men do feel things. In some ways, men feel even more deeply than women who wear their emotions on their sleeves quite often.

Because they don’t talk about their feelings, though, women often feel like it’s a waste of breath to discuss how they feel about their husbands with their husbands. Unfortunately, their husbands need to hear these words of affirmation. These are three of the things your husband NEEDS to hear from you as often as possible.

1) How Much You Respect Him – Respect is important to your husband.

He may never demand it. He’ll almost certainly never ask for it. But, it means a lot to him. Of all the people in the world, he wants your respect the most — and that’s something he may never even admit to himself. Let him know that you respect him and make sure you tell him WHY you respect him while you’re at it.
Husband

Husband

2) That You Still Find Him Attractive

- No matter how many years you’ve been together he still needs hear that you still believe he’s the most handsome man on the planet. He needs to know that you only have eyes for him. Most importantly of all, he needs to feel like you mean it when you say these things.

3) How Much You Love the Way He Makes You Feel – Think about all the little things your husband does for you

- to protect you, to make you happy, and to keep you safe. He’s trying to take care of you. He’s showing you how he feels by doing those things and this should make you FEEL cherished, loved, and even adored by him. Let him know that he does make you feel all these things and more.
Bonus – Actions speak louder than words any day of the week. Telling him how you feel is great. It will mean a lot to him. However, if you combine the telling of these things with actions that reinforce the message you’re trying to convey it will be much clearer for him. Acts can be touching him, rubbing his shoulders, scratching his back, making his favorite meal, or going out of your way to make the house look extra nice and tidy. Whatever it is that pleases him most – after all, you know him best.
You don’t have to buy expensive gifts to make your guy feel loved and appreciated by you. Simple gestures sometimes get the greatest mileage. But, when you tell your husband these things often, you’ll have a happier, healthier marriage in a home that’s filled with love and affection.

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless!

If you’ll take my hand, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

The Secret you need to know to get your ex back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!

How to Make Him Pay Attention to You Now

Getting his attention used to be easy.

All you had to do was walk into the room – any room – and you had his undivided attention. Add a little wiggle to his walk, toss your hair over your shoulder, and crook your little finger and he’d come running fast. Lately, the only thing that gets that much love from him is the television remote. You’re starting to feel a little bit left out and worn down.

Dating
What if I told you that there is something you can do RIGHT NOW that will get his attention – in a good way?

You can!
It’s easier than you think and you don’t have to walk around the house wearing nothing more than six-inch stilettos to get it.

Flirt with Him

How long has it been since you flirted with your guy? First of all, it WILL get his attention. He’ll be more than a little surprise and quite a bit turned on.
Now the downside is that he may instantly become suspicious. If that’s the case, don’t let it get you down. After all, you haven’t done it in a while.
The problem with relationships, is that no matter how much we love each other, after a while we stop trying quite as hard. We become a little bit complacent. Bringing back the flirting lets him know that you’re willing to try a little harder.

He’ll probably like it a lot more than he’ll ever let on.

Take it a little beyond hair tosses and batted eyelashes though. Let him know how big, strong, and handsome you think he is (of course you’ll want to find ways to say it that don’t leave you sounding like Betty Boop — unless that’s the kind of thing your guy likes).
Attention

Attention

This is all about him. You want to remind him that he’s the only man for you. Flirting, sends the signal to him that you think he’s still worth trying for – no matter how long you’ve been together.

Touch Him!

Want to kick things up a notch? Touch him. Men express and experience love in a different way than women. It doesn’t have to be sexual touching, though that certainly doesn’t hurt your odds of getting his attention. But, he likes to be touched.
Rub his shoulders. Scratch his back. Hold his hands. Reach out and touch him and see what an instant response that gets from him.
We live in a day and time when attention is easily divided. Bringing a little bit of flirting and a whole lot of touching back into the relationship is the fastest way you have at your disposal to get his attention – in a very good way.

The Secret you need to know to forgive and get your love back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!

Should You Even Try to Get Your Lover Back?

In the first few days, even weeks, after your breakup, the only thing you can think about is how to get your lover back. It’s understandable. Depending on how long the two of you were together, you’ve shared a lot of life. It’s hard to just walk away and pretend it never happened.
The odds are good that your lover isn’t walking off unaffected either. The only real difference is that your lover has been thinking about this for a while. People don’t walk away from long-term-relationships on a whim. In other words, your ex has had a little more time to deal with the emotional side of the decision than you have.
Lover back

Lover back

If you’re struggling to decide if the right choice is to walk away or fight to get your lover back, these questions should help you decide.

Is the Love Still There?

This is a huge question you need to know the answer to before you make a single step to try and win your lover back. While you can only guess about how your ex really feels, you can, and should, explore your own feelings in depth before making your next move. If the love isn’t really there, you should not waste your time and energy, or that of your ex, trying to rekindle something that’s simply not there anymore.

Is the Relationship You Had Truly Worth Rehashing?

Most relationships have their shares of ups and downs. Successful relationships have far more ups in them than downs. Take a look back over the course of your entire relationship. How do the ups compare to the downs for you? Were the good times really good? How bad were the darkest days? Are you willing to experience them again if necessary?

 

How far are You Really Willing to Go to Make It Work?

You must be willing to do whatever it takes to make it work in most cases for that to happen. Your ex is likely to throw in a few pitfalls and tests along the way, if he or she is even willing to give it a go. Be prepared for them and ready to ace them with flying colors. Don’t even think about letting her see you sweat. But the willingness goes even deeper than passing a few tests. You must be willing to make a few vital changes for the sake of your relationship. But you won’t often find out what they are until the moment arrives. Just be prepared. Some of the changes may not be all that simple to make.
Most importantly, however, is your willingness to be the one to wait. This is often the most difficult, and most necessary, part of winning your lover back. Waiting for the right moment, though, makes all the difference in the world. I can help you understand when that moment is and help you come up with the ideal strategy to turn it into a prime opportunity.

The Secret you need to know to forgive and get your lover back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!

6 Strategic Moves You Need to Make to Get Her Back

All’s fair in love and war. Believe me, when love is on the skids, it certainly feels like war. We all know that the army with superior forces and sound strategies is the most certain of victors in any war. The same holds true when the war is for the heart of someone who has taken her heart back. These strategic moves are sure to improve your odds.

Dating

1) Give her space. It may sound counter-intuitive at the moment, but it’s important to give her a little breathing room to figure out what it is that she really wants. Give it to her.
2) Be absent from her life. She’ll never realize how much you mean to her or how much she misses having you around if you’re always there for her when she needs you. This is not the way to win her back. It’s rewarding her by giving her all the best of you without requiring the same from her in return. That’s not how successful relationships work.
3) Make her come to you. Don’t call, text, email, visit, etc. Don’t go to her. Instead, wait. Then, make her come to you. Let her be the one who sees that breaking up was a mistake. Let her figure out just how much she really does miss having you in her life. Let her come to you.
Get her back

Get her back

4) Don’t be overly eager. In fact, work very hard on your composure. Practice what you’ll say if you run into her. Work on the words, the phrases, and the overall message you want to send. Make sure she knows you’re doing just fine without her in your life.
5) Show the world you haven’t fallen apart. Women like strong men, no matter what they tell you. It may be that you have a girl who enjoys your sensitive side, but thousands of years of history show that women are attracted to men of strength, especially in times of adversity. Don’t fall apart. More importantly, don’t let the word spread if you do fall apart after the initial breakup.
6) Stop pretending to be someone you’re not in hopes of getting her back. Any ground you gain by pretending will be lost quickly once you begin dating again. You can’t pretend forever. She’ll eventually see through the exterior. If you want to make real, lasting changes, that’s great. Don’t pretend, however, that you’ve changed core things about yourself just for the sake of winning her back. It doesn’t serve either of you in the end and can set you back even further in your efforts to win her heart all over again.
Come up with a plan before you make your next move, if you haven’t made on already. If you’ve already made a few mistakes trying to get her back, take this time to step back and come up with a strategy before making your next move. Remember these strategies to help you get her back as well.

Dating

Silly Mistakes Derailing Your Efforts to Get Your Ex Back

How long have you been working to get your ex back without seeing any real results?

Many people in your shoes are surprised to learn that it isn’t what you aren’t doing that’s holding you back. It’s the things you are doing, that are working against you. Here are a few common roadblocks that could be derailing your trip back to relationship bliss.

You are Proud to be there for Your Ex

It’s a noble idea. Really it is. However, if you’re there for a friendly ear, a comforting shoulder, or a fast perk-me-up whenever your ex needs it from you, your ex isn’t really missing out on the benefits of being in a relationship with you. It’s getting all the fringe benefits of a loving relationship without putting in the work to keep things going. Instead, you’re going to have to let your ex deal with the stings life delivers sometimes without the solace of your comforting presence.

You Keep Trying

I know this one goes against everything your heart (and to some degree your head) is screaming at your right now. However, in times of crisis, reason isn’t even in charge of your head either. Reason rarely rules the heart. Why should a time of emotional distress be any different? One person can’t do it all in the relationship.
Your ex

Your ex

Pat Benatar had it right when she sang, “Love is a Battlefield.” Love is war and the winners, in love, have a plan. The tactical advantage goes to the one who retreats, assesses the situation impartially, and plans a strategic assault with victory in mind. You had better believe love is war. And you need to take a little time to assess your current position, the hostility of the terrain, and the best path to victory before you go in with guns (or in this case Cupid’s arrows) blazing.

You Attack from a Position of Weakness

Fans of NCIS know that team leader Gibbs is always telling his team not to apologize. According to Gibbs, apologizing is a sign of weakness. While that’s a philosophical debate for the most part, when you’re trying to save your relationship or get your ex back, it is often viewed, the leaving party, as a sign of weakness. You don’t want to make your move from an inferior position. Instead, lead with your strengths.
Show your power. Establish your dominance. Come in swinging from a position of strength and don’t ever let your ex see you sweat. There’s nothing sexier, to members of the opposite sex, than confidence. Be confident in yourself, your contribution to the relationship, and the fact that it’s just not time for this relationship to end.
Above all else, don’t make a move until you know what you’re going to do next. Have a contingency plan in place for a favorable outcome as well as a less-than-favorable outcome so that you don’t come across as desperate if you don’t win this round. Your mind needs to remain focused on the long-term prize of getting your ex back and every plan needs to ultimately lead you down that happy road.

The Secret you need to know to get your ex back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!

Why Do Women Leave Marriages?

If you look at the statistics about divorce, they are often quite shocking. According to the Huffington Post, women are 2/3 more likely to ask for a divorce than men are. The real question though, is why are women more likely to walk away from a marriage than men are? The opinions on this vary greatly. However, these are a few of the most common reasons women ultimately ask for divorce.

Broken Marriage Reasons: Cheating Husbands

A man who is cheating on his wife, doesn’t necessarily want out of the marriage. If he can have his cake and eat it on the side, he’s not inclined to rock the boat. If the shoe is on the other foot, however, and the husband finds out his wife is cheating, the story is a little different, though many men don’t consider cheating to be quite the same betrayal the average woman does. Of course, not all marriages where the husband cheats end in divorce. It is, though, really difficult for women to move past, even if they initially try to work things out after the cheating occurs.

Broken Marriage Reasons: Money Matters

Money, in the Bible, is called the root of all evil. Whether or not you agree with that particular assessment, it is the number one cause of divorce and breakups worldwide. Women want security in their marriages. That includes financial security. It’s not always a matter of men not making enough money, but may very directly be related to how you spend and/or save money.
Marriage

Marriage

Broken Marriage Reasons: Needs Not Met at Home

This is the primary reason women cheat and one of the big contributing factors to a woman seeking divorce. It’s also more than a little unfair to the man because women are often not likely to tell you what those needs are so that you do have a chance to meet them. It’s difficult for women, who are generally more intuitive than men are. She thinks you should somehow know what those needs are and is upset, and often hurt, that you aren’t meeting them. The trick here is to find out what her needs are. Ask her if you must, and make sure you’re meeting them at every opportunity to do so.

Broken Marriage Reasons: Reality doesn’t Live up to Expectation

Men have a hard road job here. Before marriage, you work hard to woo your wife. You’re always doing little things in an effort to get her attention and make her your wife. Once she’s your wife, you often stop aiming to please in many ways. She’s grown to expect those things from you and you’ve stopped delivering. It’s the same level of disappointment you feel when she stops working so hard to stroke your ego. Real life often comes in and kicks all expectations of what married life will be like in the teeth.
Understanding why women leave can help you take the steps now to prevent your wife from asking for a divorce. Now is the time to take action so you can avoid the painful process of divorce and the risk of losing so much more than the woman you love.