Is getting your lover back what you really want?
Do you truly miss this person’s mind, body, and soul? Or do you simply want them back because you want what you no longer have? See the difference?
Regardless of how you are currently feeling, now is the time to assess the situation objectively and figure it out without letting your emotions get in the way.
Look at the big picture of you and your ex – past and present. Now, take yourself (and your emotions) out of the picture. What advice would you give yourself about your current situation?
Understandably, this is somewhat difficult to do when you are drowning in a river of tears. But if you can get to this point, you will be able to clearly see what you should do; make up or move on. If you decide to reconcile with your ex, follow these steps to increase your chances of success.
1. Maintain Your Dignity and Do Not Beg
Extreme begging or desperate behavior will only make you look pathetic in the eyes of your ex lover. Also, this may induce feelings of resentment later on. How would you feel if they did this to you? This is the wrong approach. At all costs maintain your dignity.
2. If Need Be, Apologize to Your Lover
Are you one of these people that never apologize or admit when they are wrong? If so, you need to come clean and swallow your pride. Chances are you’ll probably be instantly forgiven by getting off your high-horse, coming down to Earth, and actually saying sorry for whatever it is you did. Not only that, your ex will likely be blown away and see you in a whole new light (respect).
3. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Talk is cheap, while actions demonstrate motivation. Therefore, stop telling your ex how much you’ve changed – show them. Promises are just dust in the wind if you don’t put action behind them – especially if your ex has heard it all before.
4. Emotional Blackmail Never Works
It may not feel like it right now, but you can live just fine without your ex lover. Letting your emotions get completely out of control and using them against your ex with threats and/or manipulations will likely send them running in the other direction. Also, it will highlight the exact reasons why you’re probably having problems in the first place. Do you want to reunite with someone who is sincere and hopeful about making up with you, or with someone who feels negatively pressured into reconciling with you?
5. Stop Playing Games
Playing games such as pretending you’re with someone new in order to make your ex jealous or even something creepy like stalking, will not bring your lover back. This may backfire once you do get back together and may ultimately harm their feelings of trust in you.
6. Romance Your Way Back to Your Lover
By all appearances, romancing your ex with the intention of getting them back can seem a bit manipulative. However, if performed with a sincere and genuine heart, by all means go for it. Send your ex authentic love letters, gifts you know they will enjoy, or simply remind them of the good times you two once shared. Do not focus on what went wrong, but rather what went right. Remind them either through words or actions the reasons you two got together that initially sparked your attraction to one another.
7. Let Go of the Past
Whatever the reasons were for the breakup (whether you walked away or them), you have to let it go. Let the past go or you will never have a future. People change. Nobody’s perfect. What’s done is done. Forgive and move forward to increase your chances of a loving reunion.
You are going to be fine no matter what. Truly, you must make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. Also, if getting your ex back means they are unwilling to meet you halfway, then perhaps it’s time to say goodbye. No relationship is worth sacrificing your soul or happiness.