Here’s a new poem for all of you who read them; i really appreciate it, it is you i wright for
Your The Light
If your captured by fear Tell me why Your always my dear Even when you cry Dont try to fight it Dont let it pass If there’s a shadow Your the light
Stjärnbeströdda Ängar i Evigt Ljus heter min nya bok som kom nu i dagarna
Känns så roligt och spännande
Den kommer även som E-bok.
Så här lyder baksidestexten :Stjärnbeströdda ängar i evigt ljus är Dick Scotts fjärde lyrikbok. Den förstärker grundtonen av existentialism och längtan efter att ta språnget mot det okända. Hans poesi är visionär och ljus, orden leder tankarna till vikten av att välja kärlek i tanke ord och handling. Det är lyrik som stundtals traskar in på aforismens och naturens marker.
Andy is sick and tired of coming home after a hard day at the office to his wife, Caroline’s, incessant questions. Almost as soon as he enters their house, her probing inquiries begin.
“Who did you meet with today?”
“I don’t know her. Is she someone you see often?”
“Where did you go for lunch this afternoon?”
“Did you eat alone?”
“When did you have lunch?”
“Why didn’t you e-mail or text me to check in?”
After Andy attempts to answer Caroline’s questions, he feels annoyed and defensive. Andy knows that Caroline had a painful past before they began dating. She has a lot from her childhood to deal with as well as a couple of bad relationships before they met.
At the same time, Andy is worn out and, frankly, done being patient with Caroline’s daily interrogations that are fueled by her jealousy. He doesn’t know what to do other than give in and answer each question or to abruptly demand space and walk away.
If you are with a jealous partner, you might relate to Andy’s dilemma.
You may love and care very much about your partner and your relationship. You feel you have nothing to hide and have done nothing wrong, which is why his or her jealous behavior toward you is so frustrating!
Most of all, what you might want to do is to tell your mate that “No, I will not answer your jealous questions”…but you don’t because you’re worried about really setting him or her off.
We urge you not to give up on your love relationship or marriage if you truly want to be with your current partner. There are ways to communicate and set boundaries with your jealousy partner that can actually improve your relationship.
Do the advance work…
There may be a pattern to when your partner is most obviously jealous. It could be when you two have been apart all day. Or, it might be when you are out together (or separately) socially.
Begin to pay attention to the situations and even the words that you use that seem to trigger a jealous reaction from your mate. Look for ways that you might be inadvertently triggering the jealous reaction.
Let’s be clear here– we are NOT saying that your partner’s jealousy is your fault. We do want you to be aware of slight changes to your own habits that could ease this situation, however.
Take the time to ask yourself what you could differently– without compromising what is important to you– that might be less likely to trigger your mate.
One thing might be to interrupt an interrogation or accusation in progress and request that you two talk about this issue later, when you are not feeling defensive and when your partner can calm down and re-evaluate what he or she thinks is happening.
Allow your partner to own his or her jealousy…
As much as you’d like to “fix” or “solve” your mate’s jealousy problem, you can’t.
If you apply labels to your partner or try to figure out his or her jealousy habit and then expect your mate to be grateful to you for this, you’re probably going to be disappointed.
What you CAN do is to be honest when you feel wrongly accused or that your privacy and space is being invaded. It’s up to you how much transparency you are willing to provide to your jealous partner.
(If you’ve had an affair or broken trust, even if your partner is jealous it may be wise for you to be transparent.)
When your mate does take ownership for being jealous, be supportive and ask how you can work with him or her to help improve your relationship.
Say “No” and set boundaries with love and an invitation to connect…
When you set a boundary with your jealous partner, do so with love and be clear that it is your intention to connect, even though you are essentially saying “No” to the jealous habit.
If you are tired of being asked to account for what you did and who you were with every second of every day, think about how you could say “No” to this request for information with kindness.
For example, you might say, “I am not going to answer your questions right now. I love you and I will share with you about my day after I have had a chance to relax and unwind.”
You could also say something like, “I feel annoyed and accused when you greet me at the door with questions like this. I would love to hear how your day was and also let you know how my day was as a way to connect with one another. Will you make a shift and talk with me in this different way?”
Saying “No” to a jealous partner does not have to mean more distance and disconnection between the two of you. In fact, when you communicate your boundaries with a sense of honesty, openness and love, you can help support your partner as he or she overcomes jealousy.
In addition to having a great relationship, they regularly write, speak and conduct seminars on love, relationships and personal growth. To read more free articles like this or to sign up for their free online relationship tips newsletter visit http://www.collinspartners.com or http://www.RelationshipGold.com
A great deal has been espoused about men and their feelings. One of the interesting things centers around what people, both men and women, expect counter to the underlying truth surrounding the emotional lives of men. The topic often triggers many debates. Everyone must put their preconceived notions to the side and begin afresh with the discussion about men, their feelings and how to they can express them.
Myth 1: Men Don’t Have Feelings
Some classical male archetypes come across as silent, emotionless pieces of granite. This presentation in movies, books and countless other pieces of media helps perpetuate the idea of men being able to bear up under any burden without a sound. Giving the idea of a heartless man life means certain ideas can be perpetuated.
Truth: Everyone, regardless of their sex, has feelings. To assume men don’t feel things is to divorce them from their humanity. If someone removed an essential part of being human from any other demographic, they would be viewed as close minded and even cruel. Keep in mind everyone feels.
Myth 2: Men Have Fewer Words Around Their Feelings
Many people note how much women are able to discuss their feelings. They provide study results about the number of words for various feelings women can access. These same people equate the lack of matching words for men to mean either they do not possess the same depth of emotion or are unable to communicate their feelings.
Truth: Language is a learned skill. Think about how children learn to speak. First, they make sounds, then form words and then sentences. All of these capture the thoughts they are having allowing them express everything from logical points to dreams to feelings. The same is true for everyone. If any part of the development process is held back because of outside pressures, those individuals will not possess the same skills as others.
Myth 3: Men Don’t Like Talking About Their Emotions
Charged conversations including those dealing with emotional issues may devolve into a heated argument. In the throws of such a situation, both people may lean on emotionless logic to find purchase in the whirlwind of loud voices. Because of this retreat to a reasoned approach, it would be safe to say no one likes talking about their feelings, no matter if they are male or female.
Truth: In a safe environment, men open up about what they feel. It is important to be remember the risk of sharing feelings including a risk of judgement. Everyone needs to know they can express what they feel. This also means working through the messy emotions to the rich ones just below the surface. Talking about feelings is never a one time thing or easy to do.
Remembering not every person falls into a paradigm. Emotionally aware men capable of discussing what they are feeling fluently live in the same world as silent women scared to give voice to their deepest feelings. Speaking in gross generalities rarely encourage conversation. In fact, it is up to everyone to watch out for themselves, encourage a safe space within the relationship and draw their partner into fruitful discussions. Building and encouraging the other person can be hard, but so very much worth it.
When Connie got home from work, she was already exhausted from a long day of meetings. She’d left the high-pressure world of event planning sales behind to get into nonprofit work.
She loved the challenge of raising money for her charity, and her job as a development director allowed her to leverage some of her former business relationships into new donors.
On this particular day, though, her executive director was worried about finances and had really called her on the carpet, even though she was already 22% over budget for the current fiscal year.
It didn’t help matters when she got home and opened a letter from the Internal Revenue Service, addressed to her and her husband Bob. When she opened it, she was shocked to see that they owed the IRS more than $7,000 in back taxes.
Bob did some freelance writing work in addition to his job as a teacher, and it looked like he hadn’t been making payments on his freelance income. And he certainly hadn’t told her about this.
She slammed the letter down on the kitchen island, punched his number into her cell phone, and tore into him when he answered the phone.
Why was Connie so mad? $7,000 is a lot of money, but it’s not the end of the world. Bob had also been taking out payday loans and other short-term credit lately, and instead of telling Connie that he was short with his side of their bills, he had just been making poor financial decisions that was costing them a lot in interest.
The worst part for Connie, though, was that Bob hadn’t told her anything.
Bob’s excuse was that he didn’t want Connie to worry. She was a cancer survivor — had been cancer-free for almost seven years by that point — but her cancer had cost her her thyroid, and she had developed epilepsy as a side effect of the radiation treatment that her oncologist had used on a small tumor in her skull.
So Connie was often exhausted at the end of the work week, spending some of her Saturdays and Sundays in bed just to get ready for the next week. Bob felt guilty about this and wanted to let her think he could handle things on his own.
Of course, he couldn’t, and he was digging a bigger and bigger financial hole for himself — and for her, since their taxes were filed jointly. Now there was a huge hole in the middle of their relationship, created by the simple fact that he couldn’t be trusted about money.
What should Bob have done instead? The problem with their finances began about a year and a half ago, when his health insurance (which also covered her) went up by 22 percent.
She also had dropped back from full time to part time work because of some fatigue and stress from her former job. He felt like he needed to do everything himself, but he simply couldn’t.
He should have told her about the problem and perhaps could have gone to family members for some short-term help. The bottom line: Connie was getting the message that he didn’t trust her as a partner, and she felt a complete lack of financial security as a result. She also felt like their relationship was worthless without that trust.
Now, Bob and Connie sit down weekly and talk about the upcoming week in finances as well as longer-term strategies. It’s not always comfortable for either one of them, but they no longer have trust issues with money.
Bob even decided to look for a corporate job at the end of the school year to boost his income, and he wouldn’t have had the confidence to do that without talking to Connie.
So the crisis turned into a win-win for them. If you and your loved one are in a similar mess, trusting each other with the truth is the best way to begin a new path for your relationship.
Do you truly miss this person’s mind, body, and soul? Or do you simply want them back because you want what you no longer have? See the difference?
Regardless of how you are currently feeling, now is the time to assess the situation objectively and figure it out without letting your emotions get in the way.
Look at the big picture of you and your ex – past and present. Now, take yourself (and your emotions) out of the picture. What advice would you give yourself about your current situation?
Understandably, this is somewhat difficult to do when you are drowning in a river of tears. But if you can get to this point, you will be able to clearly see what you should do; make up or move on. If you decide to reconcile with your ex, follow these steps to increase your chances of success.
1. Maintain Your Dignity and Do Not Beg
Extreme begging or desperate behavior will only make you look pathetic in the eyes of your ex lover. Also, this may induce feelings of resentment later on. How would you feel if they did this to you? This is the wrong approach. At all costs maintain your dignity.
2. If Need Be, Apologize to Your Lover
Are you one of these people that never apologize or admit when they are wrong? If so, you need to come clean and swallow your pride. Chances are you’ll probably be instantly forgiven by getting off your high-horse, coming down to Earth, and actually saying sorry for whatever it is you did. Not only that, your ex will likely be blown away and see you in a whole new light (respect).
3. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Talk is cheap, while actions demonstrate motivation. Therefore, stop telling your ex how much you’ve changed – show them. Promises are just dust in the wind if you don’t put action behind them – especially if your ex has heard it all before.
4. Emotional Blackmail Never Works
It may not feel like it right now, but you can live just fine without your ex lover. Letting your emotions get completely out of control and using them against your ex with threats and/or manipulations will likely send them running in the other direction. Also, it will highlight the exact reasons why you’re probably having problems in the first place. Do you want to reunite with someone who is sincere and hopeful about making up with you, or with someone who feels negatively pressured into reconciling with you?
5. Stop Playing Games
Playing games such as pretending you’re with someone new in order to make your ex jealous or even something creepy like stalking, will not bring your lover back. This may backfire once you do get back together and may ultimately harm their feelings of trust in you.
6. Romance Your Way Back to Your Lover
By all appearances, romancing your ex with the intention of getting them back can seem a bit manipulative. However, if performed with a sincere and genuine heart, by all means go for it. Send your ex authentic love letters, gifts you know they will enjoy, or simply remind them of the good times you two once shared. Do not focus on what went wrong, but rather what went right. Remind them either through words or actions the reasons you two got together that initially sparked your attraction to one another.
7. Let Go of the Past
Whatever the reasons were for the breakup (whether you walked away or them), you have to let it go. Let the past go or you will never have a future. People change. Nobody’s perfect. What’s done is done. Forgive and move forward to increase your chances of a loving reunion.
You are going to be fine no matter what. Truly, you must make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. Also, if getting your ex back means they are unwilling to meet you halfway, then perhaps it’s time to say goodbye. No relationship is worth sacrificing your soul or happiness.
Mutual respect is an important pillar for a successful, joyful relationship. Many relationships fail because there’s a lack of respect between the partners. Respect is conferred to a person only when they deserve it, and typically must be earned in the eyes of the other person. The following are some ways through which you can earn the respect of your partner:
Take Care of Yourself in your relationship
Men are highly visual creatures. They are attracted to women they find visually pleasing and will try to respect her in every possible way in order to win her attention and company. The more you take care of yourself, the more respect he’ll have for you.
Don’t be Afraid to be Independent even in a relationship
This includes self-rule, self-determination, self-reliance and self-sufficiency. It is a must-have element for both parties entering a relationship. You’ll both need some degree of freedom to keep yourr sanity and as a safeguard against some unavoidable changes, such as a break-up or even the death of a partner.
You should not completely give up living your life just because you have a partner; it’s sad that some people entering a relationship behave as if it is the end of their life. Living your own life and finding the areas where you complement your partner is the best thing to do. Self reliance earns you more respect than coming across as needy and clingy.
Display Self Confidence
This means poise and assurance, that is, believing in yourself. Cultivate composure, self-control and dignity in the way you carry yourself. People who are not confident are often insecure and timid. That can make them a target for people who take advantage of others when given the opportunity. On the other hand they tend to respect those people who are sure of themselves and appear to possess self control.
Honesty remains to be the best policy in any relationship. If you are always 100% honest, you cannot go wrong and your partner will always trust you. Unfaithfulness in a relationship is one of the hardest things to overcome but by being honest you will win over your partner’s trust even in trivial things.
Keep your word
A sure way to lose your partner’s respect is to fail to keep your word. If you say you will do something, make every effort to do it. If circumstances out of your control prevent you from keeping your word, apologize, even if it wasn’t technically your fault. And do this for friends and family, not just your partner. His respect for you will grow when he sees how well you treat other people besides him.
Give praise when it is deserved
Make every effort to notice helpful things that your partner does for you. Being genuinely appreciative for these things and approving your partner will improve your relationship radically. Don’t put a limit on your praise, everybody wants and needs that “pat on the back” for a job well done. Men will often not get it in the workplace, so it’s critical that they get well deserved praise at home.
Respect your partner in your relationship
As mentioned at the beginning of this article, mutual respect is a cornerstone for a solid relationship foundation. You’ll find it much harder to stay in a long term commitment with a partner you don’t respect. And so will he.
You’ve been in a relationship long enough to actually know that your boyfriend is your perfect soul-mate. Or maybe you’re married to the most caring man and want to show him how much you also care.
In either situation, you’re convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that he’s the right man for you and you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with him. If that’s the case, then here are 6 ways to let him know how much you care:
1. Cook a meal for him to show that you care
This idea may be old fashioned, but every man adores a woman who can cook. The fact that you are willing to sacrifice your time to prepare a home-made meal makes it pretty obvious that you care. All you have to do is to find a good recipe and use it to prepare something special for him.
You can start preparing the meal before he arrives, just make sure the food doesn’t get cold before he gets home. If he enjoys wine, another thoughtful touch would be to get him a favorite bottle to complement the dinner. Make the dinner experience even more special by adding candlelight and soft background music for a more romantic ambiance.
2. Give him some space if you care
This may sound a little surprising, but most men enjoy having some time and space to themselves occasionally. As much as you’d love to spend more time with your man, it creates a healthier relationship when you recognize and accept that he actually needs to spend some time on his own or with his friends.
It’s important to know your man well enough to be there whenever he needs you, but try to keep yourself away when he needs to spend some time on his own. Let him have his spare time, and if possible, use that time to do something for yourself; get a massage or go out and have some fun with your girl friends.
3. Really listen to him when he talks
Some women find it hard to keep their mouth shut when they’re having a conversation with their man. This is because a woman will almost always have something to talk about.
Men, on the other hand, typically don’t talk as much. So when they do speak, you can show him how much you care and respect what he has to say by keeping quiet, listening attentively and offering relevant comments.
4. Don’t be afraid to say “I’m sorry” if you care
One of the biggest mistakes you can make in your relationship is being unwilling to admit when you’re wrong. We all make mistakes, and by owning up to them rather than trying to hide them, it lets your partner know that it’s okay for him to make mistakes too. It will instill trust and respect for you in your man, and your relationship will become even stronger.
5. Embrace his shortcomings if you care
One of the best ways to show someone you care is to make sure they know that you love them exactly as they are, “warts and all”, as they say.
That just means you acknowledge their flaws but accept them anyway and love them unconditionally. It’s important that your man knows that you love him for who he is and not for who you want him to be.
6. Give him a “just because” gift
Being the lady in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re the only one who appreciates gifts. Surprise him from time to time with something you know he likes. Listen carefully, he probably leaves plenty of clues by talking about things he’d like to have.
You don’t have to wait for a special holiday to give him a “just because” gift, and they don’t have to be expensive. The realization that you cared enough to give him a gift for no other reason than because you love him will mean the world to him.
To most people a one night stand is like a trophy. Being able to sleep with someone for just one night and then separate without any attachment whatsoever is a tricky task.
You get to indulge in the finer things in life without having to deal with the complicated process of forming a relationship. But where do you draw the line when it comes to one night stands?
Of all the people you could have a one night stand with, an ex is one of the most complicated. In the heat of the moment you may find yourself about to hook up with someone you thought you were never going to be with again.
If all goes well, it can be quite the treat. There is always the possibility however, that it will not. To avoid unnecessary drama in your life, there are a few things you should consider before hooking up with an ex, even for “old times’ sake”.
Is Anything Clouding Your Judgement?
This is the first thing you should always ask yourself if you are considering this situation. Hooking up with your ex can lead to a landslide of regret the following morning if you realize it’s not something you really wanted to do.
If you are under the influence of any drugs or alcohol your decision making skills take a back seat and impulse and desire take over the wheel. Many impaired people let their clouded judgement take control and forget to think over consequences.
If you know there is a possibility of hooking up with your ex, make sure you have considered it with a completely sober mindset first.
Consider Why You Broke Up To Begin With
It is hard to define whether or not you should have a one night stand with your ex since it is so circumstantial. Certain people have no problem doing it and with others it leads to turmoil.
Analyze the way your relationship was and think about why it ended. Which one of you wanted to end it? Did you split up on good terms?
If you were the one that wanted to break it off, you should find out whether or not your ex still has feelings for you. They could be expecting something much different to come from the one night stand.
You don’t want to hook up with them if it means you will end up breaking their heart all over again. To solve this issue, make it clear that it is only a one night deal. If you are both mature about it with control of your feelings, it could be fine.
Think About What You Are Looking For
The last thing to do before you hook up with an ex is to find out why you are doing it. Analyze the motives behind your actions before making the big decision.
Do you want to do it purely for the sex? If this is the case than why did you choose your ex? There are plenty of other new experiences laying ahead of you that you could be exploring.
If you are doing it purely for the comfort of being with someone you know, make sure you keep it strictly physical with minimal emotions.
But perhaps you are doing it for another reason. Is the one night stand motivated by a desire to be with them? If so, then why pick a one night stand? If the desire is strong enough, talk to your ex about your feelings and find out where they stand to see if your feelings match up.
Just be aware, if they are looking for sex and you are looking for a relationship, you could end up getting hurt. With all this in mind, deciding whether or not to hook up with your ex will be a lot easier. Before you make a final decision, prepare yourself for the fact that one night stands can toy with emotions before making your decision. Analyze the motives of you and your partner and just to be safe, make a set of rules that define the night as a one time thing.
Building a great relationship can be one of the greatest and most exciting things you will ever do.
Many people work for years to solidify a solid bond between each other. But what if that bond starts to fall apart? Even the most tightly held together relationships can eventually come unglued.
Sometimes people lose touch with what united them in the first place and simply coast through the relationship with a lack of interest or commitment. In order to avoid disaster, it is essential for you to know the definitive signs that your significant other is getting bored with your relationship.
1. She Tells You…But Not With Words
There are many people that are completely dumbfounded when they find out their companion has lost interest. They may find themselves asking their partner “Why didn’t you say anything?”
What they don’t realize is that their companion had given them countless non-verbal signs of their degrading interests.
There are a ton of different ways someone can non-verbally communicate their disinterest.
One common signal is the rejection of public affection, which indicates that they don’t want to be associated with you. Other indicators include an absence of eye contact, sighs, slamming doors, and being aloof when together.
2. The Way She Acts Now Is Not the Way She Acted in the Past
Every great relationship has its high points. Think about the greatest times of your relationship and the way you would interact. Try to get a solid idea of how conversations used to be and compare them to your current interactions. Take note of any differences and try to find out why things changed.
For example: A couple used to always call each other at the end of the night to talk about their day. They would effortlessly converse with each other about random things simply to hear the other one’s voice.
Now when they call each other the conversations are much shorter and less engaging. This could possibly be because one member of the relationship no longer has a desire to be close with the other one.
3. Does She Make You Feel Special?
People tend to feel closer to others that go out of their way to make them feel important. Most successful relationships are founded on a mutual effort to show how much they mean to one another.
Once a partner begins to lose interest however, these efforts become much less obvious or simply non existent.
For example: A girlfriend knows how stressed out her boyfriend is at the end of the work week. She would always dedicate an hour of her time to giving her boyfriend a massage and helping him unwind.
As she began to lose interest in the relationship, the sessions would become shorter and shorter until eventually they simply stopped all together.
4. Evaluate Intimacy
This is by far one of the most important ways to tell if your partner is losing interest in you. A strong intimate bond plays a huge role in keeping a relationship fresh. It shows that you have a mutual attraction for each other and motivates a stronger connection. Pay close attention to any changes that may happen in your intimate life.
Are you touching less often? Is there more physical distance between you? Can you still see the spark of desire in your partner’s actions? These are all important questions you should ask yourself if you feel your partner may be losing interest in you.
If you feel your relationship is changing but can’t quite figure out why, you should make an immediate effort to asses your partner’s interests. You don’t have to lose all hope in your relationship.
If you are able to pick up on these signs early enough there is a good chance you can acknowledge the lack of interest, find out why it is happening, and come up with a solution to spice things up again.
When you’ve been dumped out of the blue by the guy you know is Mr. Right, the one thing you want more than anything else in the world is to get your boyfriend back.
Unfortunately, the logistics of exactly how to do that are a little harder to lock down than you expect. But, there is a bit of a silver lining to consider.
In most situations, you still have a little bit of time on your hands to work on winning him back. That’s right. All is not lost — at least not yet.
You still have a chance to get your boyfriend back. Here’s what you need to do.
Get Your Boyfriend Back -Hold Your Head Up High
Most women in your situation lock themselves up for days or weeks on end. They cut themselves off from the world and hide.
Don’t let this happen to you. You broke up. It wasn’t your choice. You weren’t the bad guy (well, GIRL). You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.
If you lock yourself away you’re letting him think you’re crying your heart out over him. Even if you are doing more than your fair share of crying, you don’t want HIM to know.
Going out and rejoining the world with your head high gives him pause. It makes him wonder why you aren’t crying in corner.
It forces HIM to turn his thoughts to YOU! This is a very good thing as far as getting him back goes.
Get Your Boyfriend Back -Invest in Yourself
Now is a great time to invest in YOU! A breakup is a big change in your life. While it may not be the type of change you were hoping for or one you can get excited about, change is not, at its core a bad thing.
What kind of changes should you make? You want to focus on changes that are improvements — changes that make you FEEL better. Empowering changes. Confidence-boosting changes.
2) Wardrobe update
3) New hairstyle
6) Career/Personal coaching
7) Self-help books and recordings
8) Dietary and nutrition changes
9) Fitness and health changes
While it may seem that these changes are all about him, they’re really all about you. If you want to get HIM back, you must approach the process from a position of power.
You can’t return to him on your knees begging for a second chance. If you still want to get your boyfriend back after you’ve done these things then you walk in the door, with your head held high, and fully understanding that you are worth a second chance.
Once you fully understand your contribution to the relationship and the value you add to his life, he’ll have no choice but to recognize it too. If he doesn’t, then he never really deserved you in the first place.